Future Memories
by ZaKai
Summary: Trisha Elric looked from her seven year old son to the teenager with the braided blond hair and the long red coat in amazement. This teenager was her son. But how? [RoyEd] [COMPLETE]
1. New Arrivals

**A/N: **This story was written in response to NeoDiji's challenge to write some sort of story where Trisha finds out about what's going on with her sons after her death. It was also supposed to have Roy/Ed in it as well. Thus the idea for this story.

**Edit: **(8-14-07) For those of you who have read this story before, and are reading it again, you will notice that many of the author's notes have been removed from the chapters or have been shortened. I have also gone through these chapters to fix any errors that were present in the original posting of this story. The story was originally unbetaed and had a few errors that needed to be fixed.

For those of you reading this for the first time, I hope you enjoy the story, and I would love to know what you thought about this story after you finish.

**Future Memories**

**Chapter One**

**New Arrivals**

Seven-year-old Edward Elric looked up from the book he was reading and over to his younger brother. Alphonse had fallen asleep, and was snoring loudly. The boy rolled his eyes, and looked at the clock. When they had been really little, their mom used to put them down for naps around noon. Edward had kicked the habit almost two years ago, but his brother still fell asleep around mid-day half the time.

Edward grinned mischievously, and grabbed one of the pens his mom had let him use to practice drawing arrays. Quietly, he crept to his brother's side, and began drawing a moustache on the sleeping boy's face. After that, he began to color in a beard when he heard, "Edward Elric!" Cringing, he looked up to find his mother standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips, looking very displeased.

"Give me that pen right now!" she hissed softly, in an effort not to wake Alphonse.

Edward tried to look sorry as he handed the pen over to her, but when he glanced back at his brother, he couldn't help the grin that formed on his face.

Scowling, his mother pointed toward the doorway, and he trudged slowly out of the room, knowing full well that he was in trouble. His mother followed behind him, and when they were both out of the room she looked down and said, "I want you to go to the back room and stay there until I come and get you. I want you to think about what you did, and why it wasn't very nice. When your brother wakes up, I want you to tell him you're sorry. Understand?"

The blond boy nodded. He understood… understood that as long as he apologized to his brother when he woke up, all would be forgiven even if he didn't really mean it. Moping all the way to the back room, Edward looked back to see if his mother was watching him.

She wasn't.

Quickly, he ran into his father's study, grabbed a random book from one of the shelves and a piece of chalk, then rushed back to the nearly empty back room for his 'punishment.'

* * *

Trisha Elric shook her head when she heard her son rush into her husband's study, then to the back room. She could go back and tell him to put the book away, but she didn't. Now she didn't have to worry about how long he stayed in there. Being shut up in a quiet room with a book was no punishment at all for her oldest son.

Trisha shook her head and smiled. She loved her boys. They were the joy of her life, and without them she knew she'd never survive the loneliness that was so prominent in the evening hours when the boys were sleeping.

Tears came to her eyes as the loneliness touched her heart, and she blinked them away. There was no time for that. She had a lot to do before making supper...

* * *

"Excuse me ma'am"

Trisha glanced up from her laundry to see a tall, dark haired man in a military uniform walking up to her. He was handsome and looked to be a few years younger than she was.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

He rubbed the back of his neck with an embarrassed grin. "Well, I think I'm lost… I was supposed to go to the train station but…" A nervous laugh. "well… I just started walking and never found the station… amazing amount of empty space there is once you get out of Rizembool's town proper…"

She smiled at the young man and nodded. It was very easy to get lost once you got out in the countryside.

"You must have been walking for a long time," Trisha said sympathetically.

The train station was a four hour walk from her house.

He flushed and shrugged.

"Well, I don't mind helping you. I can give you directions, but it might be best if I draw you a map."

When he nodded, Trisha put the piece of clothing down and walked toward the house. He followed her and when they got inside, she bent down, gabbed one of the papers near Alphonse and took the pen she had taken from Edward out of her pocket. When she heard him walk up behind her, she glanced up and saw a look of surprised amusement on his face as he stared down at the sleeping child.

She blushed delicately and said, "My oldest son is a bit of a prankster. This is my youngest. I think he's going to have a bit of surprise when he wakes up." He nodded, and she motioned to a chair. "If you'd like to have a seat you may. This might take a little bit." She paused then offered, "Would you like something to drink?"

He nodded hesitantly and said, "Water would be fabulous, but please don't go out of your way."

"It's no trouble at all, Mr…?"

"Mustang," he said. "Major Roy Mustang. State Alchemist." The last was added with a bit of pride.

She nodded, smiled, then gave her name before fetching him a cup of water.

"You look a little young to be a State Alchemist," she said, sitting down to begin the map.

He chuckled. "Well, actually I just barely passed the test."

"Really? You must be very talented."

"That's what they say…" he said. She heard him pick up one of the papers and turned to look at him. He turned his gaze to her and said, "You seem to know a little of alchemy yourself…" It was to be a statement, but she heard the question in it too.

"No… my sons are the ones who know about that. Not me."

He looked down at the sleeping six-year-old, and raised an eyebrow. "How many sons do you have?"

"Just two."

"Really…? How old is the other one?"

"Seven."

The major glanced down at the paper in amazement, then said, "I'd love to come back in ten years or so to see how they've progressed."

She nodded unhappily. He'd like to come back and try to convince them to join the military, she supposed. Feeling a strong desire to take the focus off her boys, Trisha said, "Have you heard any news from the East?"

He sighed and sat back down. "Right now it's just some minor skirmishes, but I'm afraid that something might happen that will trigger a full out war."

She thought he didn't sound very happy about that, and supposed she understood why. If war broke out, and it couldn't be contained, the State Alchemists would be deployed to help deal with the problem.

_Living Weapons._

She shivered at the thought. No, she didn't think she liked the idea of this Major Mustang coming back in ten years to 'see how her boys were progressing'; not one bit.

Suddenly there was a sharp cracking noise from the back end of the house and the sound of screaming.

"Edward!" Trisha shrieked, remembering that her oldest son was still in the back room.

Before she could blink, the young man in the military uniform was up and running toward the noise. She rose from her chair, but her skirt got caught in the wood and she had to pull the fabric out before she could follow him. When she finally freed herself, Trisha heard another scream join the first. This one deeper; a man's scream.

_Let Edward be okay,_ she thought. _Please let my boy be alright._

As she dashed down the hall she heard two more screams join in and confusion washed over her.

_Four voices?_

Before she reached the room the loud noise and the screaming stopped.

The door was slightly ajar, and when she pushed it open she saw four figures lying on a large alchemy array that was drawn on the floor; her little Edward, two dark-haired men in military uniforms, and a blond teenager with a braid and a long red coat.

Rushing forward, Trisha turned her son over, and checked his breathing. When she saw is chest rise and fall she exhaled in relief and looked around the room. Although the other three were lying on their stomachs, she could tell that they too were alive and breathing.

But… where had the two other people come from?

Curiously, she walked over to the two men in uniform. One was slightly taller than the other, and more filled out. One had the body of a man who was barely in his twenties, while the other had the body of a man just about to enter his thirties. But each had the same type of hair, the same build, the same… well…

Nervously, she turned the younger man over onto his back. Major Mustang groaned, but didn't awaken. Heart beating quickly in her chest, she turned the other man over and gasped. They were the same. Oh, one was definitely older than the other, but they were the same!

Amazement filled her as she compared the two State Alchemists, then a thought accrued to her, and her head turned to where the blond teenager lay. If this older man looked like Major Mustang, then…

Apprehension and excitement filled her as she moved to turn the blond teenager over onto his back. Her eyes drank in the boy's features with wonder. She glanced from her oldest son to this stranger in astonishment.

This boy… this teenager…

She ran a finger gently over the soft features of his face.

This teenager was her Edward.


	2. Mother

**Future Memories**

**Chapter Two**

**Mother**

Major Edward Elric, State Alchemist, opened his eyes. When they focused, he saw a wooden ceiling come into view and thought that it looked…familiar…in some way…

The smell in the air brought a confused nostalgic feeling, and he couldn't think why that would be… Suddenly, he became aware of the hard wood beneath his back, and groaned before sitting up. When the rest of the room came into view, Ed thought his heart would stop.

He recognized the room. It was the one in the back of the house. The one his mother always sent him to when he was in trouble; as if it was ever really a punishment. He always sneaked books in and stayed there for hours…

It was his house.

_His_ house!

The one he and Al had burned down!

When he turned and looked behind him, he got another shock. A large and complicated alchemy array was drawn on the floor, but that wasn't the biggest surprise. There was not one, but _two, _Roy Mustangs lying on top of the chalk drawing.

Swallowing hard, the short blond walked over to the two men, and looked them over. He'd say there was, perhaps, a ten year difference between the two, but it was obvious that the older one was definitely his Mustang.

He grinned at the thought. _His Mustang_.

Yes, the man was his alright, but this wasn't the time or the place to think about those things. Right now he had a mystery to solve. One that involved his lover, a man who looked ten years younger than his superior officer, a complex alchemy circle, and a house that should have been burnt down.

He frowned, unsure if he should wake the other two men or not. They were obviously the same person… how would they react to such a phenomenon? Not well, he supposed. Conceited men liked to think they were one of a kind…

It was then that a thought occurred to him.

If the colonel was here, and there was a man who looked like him there, then…

Ed looked around. When he saw no one else he decided to take a look outside the room, and let the two men sleep for the time being.

Silently, Ed slipped through the door and shut it softly behind him.

Nostalgia flooded him as he left the back room behind him. It was his house alright. He remembered all the boards of this house, and the smell… It smelled like his mother's cooking… Maybe he was dead… Maybe this was heaven… If so, the only thing that was missing was…

"Al!" a child yelled.

Ed blinked, and thought that was exactly right. The only thing that was missing was Al…and his mother…

"Al!" came another shout, then he heard running footsteps above him and giggling.

A lump formed in his throat. It was all almost too much; the memories overpowering his mind, body and heart. It was real… It was all so incredibly real…

"So you're awake…" a musical female voice chimed behind him. His breath caught in his throat, and his heart skipped a beat. He knew that voice. He could never forget it. Slowly he turned around and saw the image that lived only in his most beautiful dreams…

In his dreams…

… and here.

Her delicate features pulled into a frown. "Are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost."

_I have..._

He opened his mouth to speak, but the words failed him and he could only make a weak croaking noise. It was her. It was _her._

Her eyes studied him curiously as she smiled gently, then beckoned for him to follow her. "Dinner is almost done. Are you hungry?"

He nodded silently. Ed couldn't seem to break his gaze away from her, and he felt like he was in shock.

"What about the other two? Are they awake yet?"

He shook his head.

"Oh I see… I wonder if we should wake them…" She looked at him questioningly, and he shook his head again. They'd wake soon enough. Right now he wanted this time alone with her…

With his mother.

* * *

Trisha held the young teenager's eyes for a long time. She knew that even when she broke eye contact, he wouldn't look away from her. His stare was that focused.

He was her son.

He had to be.

Somehow, this boy was her Edward, only older. Not only did they look the same, but the mannerisms were the same too. She didn't know what her little boy had done, but it seemed he had reached into the future and plucked the teenager, and the military officer from the future.

The thought was overwhelming in a way. People from the future? It just sounded so ridiculous, but she'd had time during the past few hours to get over her shock. Really, she thought she was taking it all quite well.

Strange as it seemed, here was her little boy… not so little anymore… How old was he? What was happening in his life? She had so many questions.

He opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again as if he wanted to say something. The look of utter disbelief and longing that radiated from his eyes made her heart ache. Why was he staring at her like that? What was wrong? She did the only thing she could think of and opened her arms out to him.

* * *

Ed watched as his mother spread her arms. He wanted so much to be held in her embrace, but what if she disappeared the moment he touched her? What if this was a dream? It should be… with two Mustangs, and his house, and his mother…

If it was a dream, he didn't want it to end.

"Edward?" she asked softly.

He swallowed hard, and hesitantly walked toward her. His lip quivered slightly, and tears burned in his eyes. Was it really her? He looked deep into her eyes hoping to find the answer.

"Mom?" he whispered, voice shaking.

Her face pulled into a gentle smile, and she nodded.

As if in a trance, he stepped into her embrace, resting his head against her shoulder. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so loved and protected. A warm feeling spread through his body as she wrapped her arms tightly around him. He closed his eyes, and two fat tears trickled heavily down his cheeks. Wrapping his arms around her, he held her as tightly as she held him.

"It's alright…" she soothed the way only a mother could sooth, and stroked his hair. "It's alright… I just can't believe how grown up you are, Edward. You've just gotten so _tall_, soon you'll be taller than me, I'm sure of it."

He grinned happily, and snuggled deeper into the hug. His mom always had the best things to say.

* * *

When they broke the embrace, she smiled at him and said, "Why don't you take a seat at the table. I'm going to get the boys to come down." When he nodded and sat, she called, "Boys! Come and eat!" There was a sudden flurry of excitement as the sound of running footsteps above them came stomping down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Her two little boys stopped and stared that the stranger. "It's okay boys. He's going to be staying with us for a little while."

She smiled when the older boy looked up at her hopefully.

Edward was the first to get over his surprise and sat down next to the blond teenager. "I'm Edward and this is my little brother Alphonse." He said, pointing to the younger boy who was seating himself next to his seven year old brother.

The teen nodded and stared at them in amazement, though oddly he stared more at Alphonse more than Edward. Trisha would have thought that if she could see herself younger she wouldn't be able to take her eyes off of the other person that was her...

"So? What's your name?" her little Edward asked.

The teen cleared his throat and croaked out, "Ed."

"Hey, just like you're name brother!" Alphonse said in surprise to the younger Edward.

"Neat!" Edward exclaimed.

When she set the bread and stew in front of the boys, her two little ones dug in immediately. The older boy took his time by smelling the stew, then bringing the spoon hesitantly to his mouth. After he'd taken his first bit she asked, "Is it alright?"

He nodded, and she thought she saw tears in his eyes again. "It's… it's great. The best ever…"

* * *

He ate the stew slowly savoring every bite. It was her cooking, and it was wonderful…

He eyed the two young boys who were ravenously devouring their food. They were so young… _He_ looked so young… His eyes fell on the six year old Alphonse, and Ed had the sudden urge to grab the boy and hug him. It had been so long since he had seen his brother in the flesh. Even though this boy wasn't _his_ Al, the fourteen year old Al, he was still Ed's brother. He felt himself grin slightly at the pale ink marks of a beard and mustache, and had a feeling his younger self had something to do with that…

A voice broke Ed from his thoughts. "Why are you wearing gloves?" Edward asked.

Ed grinned ruefully at the young blond and said, "I think they're cool."

The look the boy gave him said, 'That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.'

Okay, so it was a pretty lame thing to say. It was summer outside after all, he knew because he remembered how the house felt in the summer, but he didn't want to tell the truth; not with her there. He wanted to avoid unpleasant conversation; wanted to avoid anything that would shatter this wonderful moment he was having. Soon the time would come when questions would need to be asked, and truths would need to be told, but not yet. For now he would just enjoy the moment.

His mother set another bowl on the table, and sat down to eat.

"You know what?" Al said. "You and brother look a lot alike."

Edward looked the teen over carefully, then shook his head. "No we don't." Ed thought he saw a look of understanding in the little boy's eyes, as if he knew the teenager was his older double, but he couldn't be sure. He decided he would play along with Edward's game, if it was a game, until he knew for sure what the boy knew.

Ed nodded. "I guess we do look alike don't we Alphonse..." Then with an evil grin he said, "But I'm taller."

Alphonse laughed while Edward glared at the blond teenager. "I don't think I like you very much," the boy grumbled, and scooted his chair away.

There was silence for a moment then Alphonse asked, "How old are you?"

"Fifteen."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Fifteen? Most of the fifteen year olds I know are _a lot_ taller than you."

Ed glared at the boy, and muttered, "Brat."

"Why did you grow your hair long?" The seven year old asked then said, without giving Ed a chance to answer. "I hate long hair. _I_ wouldn't ever grow my hair long."

Ed laughed. "Yeah right."

The sandy haired six year old leaned forward, and whispered loudly in a conspiratorial voice, "Our dad had long hair, that's why."

"Shut up Alphonse!" Edward shouted, and shoved his brother.

"Mooom! Ed pushed me."

"You're such a baby."

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"Boys!" Trisha said sharply. The two kids looked sheepishly down at their bowls, and began eating again.

Ed shook his head. He couldn't believe he had ever been so childish. "You should be nice to your little brother." He said. The seven year old glared, and opened his mouth, showing a glob of half chewed food.

"Edward!"

"I didn't do any thing," both blonds said at the same time.

Ed watched as a look of surprise, then amusement passed over his mother's face, before she started laughing.

* * *

Trisha got her self under control and told all three of the boys to eat.

Really, she had never seen such a funny sight…

The brunette sighed and let her eyes travel over the teenager's face. He looked so much like his father… Trisha felt an ache in her heart and decided to try thinking of something else besides her loss…

Fifteen.

So this Ed was fifteen? Well, her little Edward was right. Most boys his age were much taller, but then she'd had a feeling Edward would never get very tall. Fifteen… the teenager was eight years older than the younger Edward.

That would probably mean that the other man was probably eight years older than the major. Her brow creased in worry. She had almost forgotten about the military men. What would she do with them? Having an older version of her son in the house was one thing, but she had only met the State Alchemist that day. Should she let him stay until everything was solved…? Or perhaps a better question would be, could she _make_ him stay until everything was solved?

It would be for the best, after all it was alchemy that brought them into this mess, and they'd probably need alchemy to take them out again. Her little Edward had most likely copied some array from one of his father's books onto the floor, not knowing what it did…

But the young man was a State Alchemist and the older man was too. The two of them should be able to figure something out…


	3. Roy Mustang

**Future Memories**

**Chapter Three**

**Roy Mustang**

Colonel Roy Mustang groaned and rolled over onto his side. When he opened his eyes the first thing he saw was…

Himself…

His eyebrows knit together in confusion and he blinked rapidly, trying to see if the other him would go away.

When it became clear that this was no phantom of his imagination, Roy crawled over to the other man. The mirror image of himself was younger by maybe ten years, he wasn't sure. What he was sure of was that this man was a major. Roy felt a morbid sense of satisfaction wash over him. He was a colonel, and this man was a major; the lowest rank possible for a State Alchemist.

He was still in charge.

Roy had become so lost in himself that he hadn't noticed the other man's eyes opening. What he did notice was the gasp that came from the young major. The other man was clearly frightened by being confronted with someone who was himself, yet older.

"Calm down. Unless you have some great insight as to what's going on, I think we're both pretty clueless here. We need to keep our heads."

The younger version of Roy swallowed, sat up, then looked around. For a moment he seemed lost in thought, then he stood up and stared down at the ground. Roy followed the younger man's example and saw an incredibly complicated array drawn beneath them.

"It doesn't make any sense…" the young man murmured.

"What doesn't?"

"Alchemy is equivalent exchange right? Well… What did we give up? I mean… you're here… and I'm here… but…" the major looked around in concern, as if there should be someone else in the room.

Roy nodded. "I see what you mean." He mulled it over for a minute then glared at the major. "Did you draw this?"

His double opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, Roy said, "No, of course you didn't. You're too stupid to have done this."

The young man's face instantly darkened in offended anger. "I am not _stupid_."

Roy raised an eyebrow. "How long have you been a State Alchemist?"

"About… about a month…"

Roy nodded knowingly. "Then you're stupid."

The young man folded his arms and said, "You know… I have a feeling we're the same person somehow, so by calling me stupid aren't you calling yourself stupid?"

"No."

"Oh really? Why not?"

Roy gave the younger man a well practiced 'I am better than you' look and said, "Simple. If we are in fact the same person, then I am obviously the older one and you are the younger one. Now, if you were to call _me_ stupid then you would indeed be insulting yourself because it would imply that you are now stupid and you never became smarter. I, on the other hand, have the vast knowledge of years and can look back and see how stupid I actually was and how I have progressed over time."

The major glared at the colonel flatly for a moment then said, "You are an arrogant man… Whatever professed wisdom you lay claim to doesn't seem to have made you a better person. What a disappointment." The young man's voice held a note of bitterness in it and Roy flinched inwardly.

Suddenly he felt angry. "_I'm _arrogant? You listen to me, you high-minded, little piss-ant. You've been in the military almost two years,(1) been a State Alchemist for one month and you think you know everything? You know _nothing._ Don't you even _think_ you can judge me, because you can't!"

The two men stared hard at each other for several minutes before Roy spoke again. "Do you know why we're here?"

"I don't know why _you're_ here, but I just happened to stop by this house. I…was headed toward the train station…and I saw a woman doing laundry and asked her for…asked her how long it would take to get there. She said she'd draw me a map…um, of the shortest route, so I came inside and we were talking when suddenly…"

Roy listened impatiently to the younger man's 'version of the truth'. Over the years, Roy had worked hard to rid himself of the outward signs that he was lying. He had been a terrible liar when he was younger, and he knew full well what his giveaways were. Finally, when he couldn't take it any longer, he said, "So you got _lost _and the woman said she'd draw you a map them _what?_"

The major flushed, in anger, or in embarrassment at having been caught in the lie, Roy wasn't sure, nor did he care. "There was this … noise… and screaming… I... ran in here and there was this little blond kid just screaming like there was no tomorrow then… then after that… I don't remember anything…" He shrugged and the concerned look returned to his face. "You don't think…?"

Roy shook his head. He had a good idea what the major was thinking, and he only hoped that it wasn't correct. He didn't like the thought of being brought here while some little kid was wandering around in Central, lost and afraid. Then suddenly something the man said hit him and he asked, "A little _blond_ kid?"

The major nodded. "Yeah. Some lady lives here with her two boys… ages… six and seven, I think she said…"

Roy frowned. A little blond seven-year old that could do alchemy… "How old are you?" he asked sharply.

The younger man glared at him and said, "Twenty-one."

Roy thought out loud for a moment. "Twenty-one…seven…twenty-nine…fifteen… What's this kid's name?"

The young man shrugged. "Don't know, but the mother's name is Trisha Elric."

Elric.

A sound came from beyond the door and Roy thought it sounded suspiciously like his teenaged subordinate.

If that little blond kid was who he thought, that might mean Fullmetal was here too…

* * *

When the two men walked into the room, the four people at the table looked up at them. The brunette woman looked worried, the two little boys were curious and a bit frightened, and Fullmetal looked slightly amused.

For a moment none of them spoke then the woman, who Roy supposed was Trisha Elric stood quickly, and said, "Would you two like some stew?"

"Please don't trouble yourself," the major said, as the colonel said, "Yes, that would be great."

The two men looked at each other, and Roy saw a flash of irritation in the younger man's eyes. The colonel shook his head. He remembered being so young and proud…and stupid. He knew the younger man would probably _starve_ first before imposing on a woman and her children, but Roy was older and he didn't mind leaching off of people anymore. He frowned. Okay, not _leaching_ but…

"We'll _both _have some stew, and thank you," Roy said before he could let his thoughts continue down that path.

The major opened his mouth to protest, but Roy pushed him toward the table and motioned him to sit down. "She _wants _to feed us," he hissed into the younger man's ear as they took a seat. The major looked unsure, but when the stew was served, he ate hungrily.

"Oh my… how long as it been since you've eaten, major?" Mrs. Elric asked.

The younger man paused, and a faint blush crossed his cheeks. "Uh… I ate this morning, but it wasn't much. I was planning on buying something from one of the stands at the train station, but…"

She nodded and pushed the plate with the bread toward him. "Please eat as much as you'd like," she said, and smiled at his grateful look.

* * *

When he'd finished half of his meal, Major Mustang finally took the time to look around at those seated at the table. The two young boys were jabbering on about some hideout they had made and about someone named 'Winry' not being allowed inside. He was relieved to see that the exchange for his older egotistical self hadn't resulted in the young boy being lost in the future. Although, it was interesting to see that an older version of the child had shown up as well.

The man beside him, his older double, was quietly eating his stew. Occasionally, he would look up at the two little boys with an amused smile, but usually his gaze fell on the blond teenager with the long red coat.

In turn, the blond teenager would look at each of them periodically, but his gaze most often stayed on the beautiful brunette woman who had been so hospitable. The major supposed it would be natural, after all, if that teenager was the little blond boy's older self…

Speaking of older self...

Roy turned and glanced at the older man next to him. In one way he had been pleased to see that this other him had advanced in the ranks and was a colonel. He had become a State Alchemist so that he could help the people, and he was sure that as an officer with a higher rank, he'd be able to do that.

Another part of him was slightly confused at how to act. This man, this other him, out ranked him. But… should he treat him as a superior officer, or… It wasn't as if the other man could get him in trouble. This colonel wasn't even a colonel right now…

He shook his head, took another bit of stew, then let his gaze fall on the teenager. He had heard someone say that the blond was fifteen, but he looked a bit younger due to his height. Roy had been instantly attracted to the teen and quickly did the math in his head. He was twenty-one and the blond was fifteen. There was only a six year difference. That wasn't bad at all. Except that sixteen was the legal age…

The dark haired major frowned. What was he thinking? Even if the teen would be interested in him, and that was a big if, what good would come of it? Somehow they'd have to find a way to send the doubles back… It just wouldn't work.

Roy glanced at the seven-year old blond boy, and did the math. Twenty-one minus seven was… He winced. _Fourteen years!_ He glanced nervously at the brunette woman who was watching the group with a slight smile. If she had any idea what he was thinking…

His gaze went back to the teenager for a few minutes, then to his double. When his eyes stopped on the colonel, he flinched. The older man was glaring at him intently. Roy opened his eyes wide as if to say, 'What?'

The colonel's gaze flitted to the blond teenager then back to Roy before the glare deepened. The major swallowed. Did his double know what he had been thinking? It wasn't as if anyone knew that he was attracted to both sexes… well… the colonel would because he was the same person…

Roy blushed deeply and stared at his stew feeling frustrated and confused. Jeez… the old fart acted as if he was trespassing on his property or something…

His eyes looked up at the little blond boy again, but once more he dropped his gaze as a kick under the table from the other man let him know that the colonel knew exactly what was going on in his head.

The major rolled his eyes and took another bite of the stew. It wasn't as if he was going to try anything on the kid… after all… the blonde boy was _seven_! He wasn't into little children like that!

_A fourteen year difference_… he thought.

No.

Hell no.

Even if he waited until the kid grew older, there was no way a relationship with that much of an age difference would work.

* * *

1) In the manga Roy was first part of the regular military then a State Alchemist. Since the series doesn't exactly elaborate on this fact, I am going to use the manga's perspective for this point.


	4. Realizations

**Future Memories**

**Chapter Four**

**Realizations**

"This was a wonderful meal, Mrs. Elric, the best I've had in a long time. You really are an amazing cook."

At the colonel's 'smooth talking' voice, Ed looked up from his bowl and grimaced. When Colonel Mustang got polite, that often meant there was unpleasant business to be discussed. Having worked with the man for so long, he'd gotten to know this very well. The colonel was a pompous ass when things were good, even more arrogant when things were bad, but serious and considerate when something was critical…

Or when he thought it would bring pain to someone he cared about.

"Why thank you… um…"

"_Colonel_ Roy Mustang."

Ed smirked at the force the colonel put on his rank and saw the younger Mustang glare heatedly at the older man.

"Well… thank you Colonel Mustang. I'm glad you enjoyed it," she said with a small smile and a blush.

He nodded with a small smile of his own, then said, "Mrs. Elric…"

"Trisha, please…" The blush on her cheeks darkened.

Ed looked at his mother in shock, then turned to glare at his superior officer. How _dare_ he flirt with his mom! For one thing, she was still married. The man was a bastard, but still her husband. Second, Roy was _his_. Ed could endure Mustang flirting with the girls in Central because it kept up his reputation and kept their secret safe, but they weren't in Central. They were…well…they were obviously in Rizembool, but some how in the past…

"That really is a beautiful name," the colonel said smoothly.

Ed gritted his teeth then pounded a fist on the table. "Do you have something important to say old man, or are you just going to sit there _flirting_?" His mother flushed darkly, the colonel raised an eyebrow, the major smirked, and the two boys stared at him in shock, but he didn't back down. "Weeell?" he growled.

The colonel opened his mouth, but Trisha spoke first, her face still red. "Edward, you're being very rude. I want you to apologize this instant."

The older officer, now extremely amused, looked at Ed expectantly.

Ed glared, but didn't say anything. Apologize? To Mustang? Never.

"Edward," his mother said in a warning voice.

The sound of snickering beside him caught his attention and he looked down to see the younger Edward giggling.

"Yeah _Eeedwaaard_," his younger double snickered quietly. "You need to say your sor.." But the boy never got a chance to finish because Alphonse elbowed him and shook his head.

"It's quite alright."

Ed looked up and saw the colonel addressing his mother.

"Besides, he's right. It's time we talk about what's happened here. As pleasant as this dinner has been, and as well as everyone has been at pretending this is just a normal get-together, we all know it isn't."

The brunette's face pulled into a worried frown, but she nodded then looked to Edward. "Sweetheart, will you go get the book that you were reading today?"

The little boy nodded reluctantly and scurried off to do as he was asked.

"I'm… I'm really very sorry about all of this," she said looking at the two dark haired men.

_What am I? Chopped liver?_ Ed thought grumpily at the lack of attention he was getting from his mother at this point. He instantly cheered up when she turned her gaze one him and smiled softly.

The sound of running footsteps broke the moment as Edward ran back in with a thick book in his hands. "Here it is mom!" the boy said as he plunked the book into her lap. She smiled and kissed him on the head before passing the book to the colonel.

"My husband's writing…" she said, indicating the book.

He nodded and began flipping through the pages. Ed watched as the older man raised an eyebrow and whistled softly. "This is…" He looked up at Ed. "This is really amazing…"

Ed frowned. He didn't like to think of his lover complimenting the man he hated most in the world.

When the major leaned close to glance at the book, the colonel looked over and glared. "You don't need to see this. You're too stupid to understand any of it."

Ed blinked. The colonel just called himself stupid…?

"Shut up, old man," the younger Mustang growled then scooted his chair closer to get a better look. Ed couldn't help it, and began laughing. It was just too much. This whole situation was just too much…

* * *

Colonel Mustang glowered at his laughing subordinate before turning his attention back to the book. Hohenheim's theories were incredibly complicated… Roy turned his head and caught his double staring at Ed again. He elbowed the major and growled, "Stop staring at him."

"What does it matter to you?" the man hissed back.

Roy shook his head then turned his attention the younger of the two Edwards. "Can you show me where to find the array you drew in the other room?" he asked nicely, passing the book to the little boy.

"Maybe…" The child looked afraid that he was going to get into trouble, but began flipping through the pages.

"Do you think you'll be able to fix this…?" Trisha asked nervously.

"I'm sure we will," he lied. Truthfully, he had no idea what to do, or how this could have happened. He'd never heard of an array that could bring someone from the future to the past. He smiled at the brunette and her cheeks became a delicate shade of pink. She turned her attention to her stew and began moving her spoon in the bowl, but didn't eat.

He had a feeling Ed was going to kill him for flirting with his mother, but he couldn't help it. She was a beautiful woman, and she was obviously attracted to him. That was quite amusing given the fact that she didn't react to his double in the same manner. Some women just preferred men who were older than them, and it seemed Trisha Elric was one of those. After all, from what he'd heard, Hohenheim wasn't exactly a young duck either.

Roy looked at Ed, and couldn't help smirking. Perhaps attraction to older men ran in the family.

His gaze turned to the major, who was in turn casting glances at Ed again. Roy frowned. Fullmetal was _his_. He'd have to have a talk with his younger self…

* * *

Trisha glanced around and frowned. There was something going on here. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but something just wasn't right.

Well… besides the fact that there were people from the future sitting at her table.

Something else.

Both of the military men were casting glances at her fifteen-year old son, but the glances were somehow different… She didn't like it. Not one bit.

"I think this is it…" Edward said, lifting the book up for the older military officer to take.

The older Roy Mustang was definitely more mature than the major, not only in his looks but in his mannerisms as well. It was very becoming, but she tried to remind herself that she was married… although it didn't seem that way most of the time, having not seen her husband for many years now…

"Wow…" the colonel breathed. When the major leaned over again to take a look, the older man didn't object. At first glance it would be easy to say that the two men didn't like each other, but she had a feeling there was more to it than that. She guessed it must be hard for each of them; the younger seeing what could be, the older seeing what was. Was the younger man afraid of his future? Did the older one regret his past? Trisha supposed she'd never know.

Those just weren't questions you asked someone you didn't know.

Her eyes turned to Ed.

She had also seen various emotions flash through his eyes when he looked at his past as well.

No, she wouldn't be able to ask the military men about their thoughts.

But she could ask her son about his.

* * *

Major Mustang looked down to the floor at the transmutation circle, then to the book he was holding. "I never thought I'd get a chance to take a look at some of Hohenheim of Light's work like this."

The older Mustang grunted and shut the door behind them. "Not that you understand any of it I'm sure."

The major glared and gritted his teeth. "You know, I really don't see why you keep insulting me. I haven't done anything to you."

The colonel folded his arms and cast a level look to his younger self. For a moment he just stood there staring, then he said, "I just don't like you. That's all."

Roy watched as the older man turned around and began studying the array drawn on the floor. Didn't _like_ him? What kind of a lame excuse was that? And why didn't he like him? What a bastard…

Suddenly the door opened and the blond teenager slipped into the room, closing the door behind him. "Gee, thanks for staying and helping with the dishes…" the boy said sarcastically.

The younger dark haired man frowned. "We're trying to get this all figured out. Truthfully you should be thanking us. Just think what might have happened if I wasn't here when your younger self began messing around with such a complicated array. You would probably be stuck here forever. At least now you have a chance to get back to your time. This is State Alchemist business now, so if you'd be so kind as to let us alone while we work…"

It wasn't working.

The short teen had one eyebrow raised and a small smirk on his lips. "So… uh… how long have you been a State Alchemist…_major?_" the boy asked in amusement.

This was the second time he'd been asked that… He supposed his answer had been helpful for his older self to know what part of the timeline he was at, but why would this kid possibly be interested?

"A month," he replied irritably.

"A month," the kid repeated now sounding more than amused. "Well, you don't really have much seniority, now do you? I mean, really, they only do the tests once a year so you and anyone who passed with you would be on the lowest end of the State Alchemist food chain."

Roy's eyebrows knit together in confusion and embarrassment. What the boy was saying _was_ true, but what did it matter to him, and why was he so amused?

"Enough of this," came an irritated voice, and both Roy and the blond turned to look at the colonel, who was now walking toward them. The older man looked to his double. "Major. As your commanding officer, and whether or not you like it I _do_ out rank you, I'm ordering you to shut up until you know what's going on here or unless you have something useful to say."

The younger man glared hatefully at the colonel, then turned it on the blond who was snickering softly.

"And you…" the older man said, snatching the heavy book from Roy's hands and flopping it roughly against the boy's chest. "I want you to start analyzing Hohenheim's writings and that array your double drew. I want to know what it was meant to do, why it was created, and if it was supposed to work the way it did, or not. If not, what was its original purpose?"

Roy felt slightly gratified that the boy was no longer snickering. In fact, the look of irritation and loathing that was directed at the colonel did much to cheer him up.

"Didn't you just look this over?" the boy complained bitterly while opening the book to the marked page.

"Of course, but there's quite a bit of information in there and it would take more than a few minutes to compile it all."

"I'm not going to do all the work while you lay around doing nothing!" the blond spat out.

"Who said I was going to be doing nothing? Someone needs to question your double and I can see the two of you didn't really hit it off." the older man grinned. "Maybe after that I'll take the time to chat with you're mother abo…"

The man never got a chance to finish. The blond grabbed the front of the man's uniform and pulled him close. "Stay away from my mother!"

The major was beginning to feel slightly confused with the situation as well as embarrassed that his older self would act so disrespectful. For one thing, why was the colonel telling the kid to research the array? That was a job better left to them, seeing as how they were older and that they were State Alchemists. Another confusing thing was how the older man was taunting the boy. He could see that although the colonel found Trisha Elric attractive, he wasn't interested in her romantically. Yet the man was obviously trying to piss the kid off. It really made no sense…

The colonel shook his head. "You know, you really do blow up at the _smallest_ things."

The blond growled and shoved the man back. "You just stay away from her. She's married."

"Only technically."

A glare from the boy brought a chuckle from the older man and then a softly amused look… as if he actually _knew_ the kid. "I'm sorry," his double said kindly, then more briskly, "But I still want you to do the research. That's an order."

Roy frowned and said, "You really are arrogant. You can't _order_ him to do the research."

They both turned to look at him as if they'd forgotten he was there.

"Really?"

"Yes really! You can't order civilians around like that!"

The older man gave him _that look_ again and said, "Thank you, major. Your insight is brilliantly obvious as usual."

Roy's eyes flitted to the boy, who was now openly grinning. He let his gaze travel over the teen and when a silver chain caught his attention, his eyes widened in shock. Could it be? How could he have missed it? Of course… the boy had been sitting at the table when they'd come in and was still there was the colonel had dragged him back to this room.

"You…" he breathed in astonishment. No… No, it couldn't be. The kid was only fifteen…

"That's right," the blond said in amusement. "Me." The short teenager pulled the large silver state identification from his pocket and said. "Major Edward Elric. The Fullmetal Alchemist."


	5. Punishment

**Future Memories**

**Chapter Five**

**Punishment**

Ed watched in amusement as various emotions played out on the younger Mustang's face. First there was surprise, probably at seeing the watch. Second there was disbelief, most likely directed at Ed's age. Third there was shock, probably at the fact that it was actually _true_ given that the colonel wasn't denying it. And finally a look of irritation before the man said, "How long have you been a State Alchemist?"

The blond chuckled. This was definitely Roy Mustang. The man was already wondering how much weight his rank held.

"Almost four years," Ed answered in delight.

Oh yes.

How great it was that he had seniority over the arrogant asshole.

Well… this Mustang wasn't exactly the same as the colonel, but hey, Ed wasn't going to complain about little technicalities like that.

"Four years?" the man whispered in disbelief.

Ed nodded proudly. "That's right; became a State Alchemist right after I turned twelve, so just a few months short of four years."

"Twelve?" the Major gasped. "I don't believe it… How is that possible? Twelve…just a kid…"

"I'm a _prodigy_, if you haven't already noticed by my younger double," the blond bragged.

It truly was entertaining to watch the twenty-one year-old Mustang gape at him with wide eyes. Yes indeed, Ed didn't think he'd ever had this much fun. Suddenly the major's eyes went to the colonel and he pointed at the man. "You! You knew!"

"Of course," the older dark haired man said, unfazed by the other alchemist.

"You could have told me!" the major complained.

The colonel shrugged. "I work on a 'need to know' basis, and I didn't think you needed to know."

"Why you…" the younger Mustang growled, but Ed interrupted.

"I work on a 'need to know' basis too, and I don't think my mom needs to know about this; at least not from you. It's mine to tell if I want, so you'd better keep your mouth shut about it if you know what's good for you."

"Are you threatening me?" the major asked in irritation.

"Not yet, but I will if I have to."

"You really think you can take me?" the younger Mustang asked confidently as he pulled out his gloves.

Ed grinned and moved into a fighting stance. "Yeah! I do!"

"Enough!" the colonel barked, and walked over to his younger double. The older man put a hand on the younger man's arm and studied him with a look Ed had only seen a few times; it was a sad but knowledgeable look… After a moment the colonel said softly, "You need to learn to control your temper. It isn't going to help you later in life…"

The major glared at the older man, but said nothing.

"You can't take Fullmetal in a fight; he'd kick the shit out of your inexperienced ass. Maybe in two years you'd be able to take him, but not today. Not like you are now."

Ed listened as the colonel spoke, and felt some pride when he heard his lover say the major couldn't win him in a fight. However, he also felt slightly… what? Embarrassed? Out of place? The conversation just seemed so personal all of a sudden…

But then the moment passed and the colonel said flippantly as he walked to the door, "Well Fullmetal, you'd better get to work. Come major!"

"What a bastard," the major and Ed both said at the same time.

They looked at each other in surprise, then grinned. As the younger Mustang followed the colonel out of the room, Ed thought that perhaps he and the major might be able to get along after all.

* * *

Ed looked up from the book when he heard a squeaking sound behind him. The blond lifted his head to see his younger double looking at him from behind the slightly opened door. The two boys stared at each other for several moments.

Ed couldn't help feeling slightly irritated at his younger self. The kid had done something incredibly stupid by messing with this array, and in only a few short years, the boy would make the biggest mistake of his life.

Stupid kid…

It was then that Ed had a flash of insight on the colonel's behavior toward the younger Mustang. There were things the dark haired man had done that he wasn't proud of, things he hated himself for… perhaps the older man was directing his anger and loathing toward the major. In his mind, Ed could see the confused, and sometimes hurt, look on the younger Roy's face each time the colonel said something mean, spiteful or insulting.

In that instant, Ed decided he didn't want to do the same thing to his younger self.

"You coming in?" Ed asked the boy.

Hesitantly, Edward slipped into the room and shut the door behind him. The child seemed a little unsure, but walked over to where Ed was sitting on the floor.

"I thought they were going to talk to you…" Ed said.

The boy shrugged. "They're talking to mom right now." Ed grunted and the child continued. "They seem pretty nice. They're nice to mom so that's good."

The older alchemist rolled his eyes. They'd better not be _too_ nice…

Sighing, Ed looked at the boy and said, "So, what were you trying to do here?" Edward glanced at the large array and a slight blush appeared on his cheeks as he shrugged. It was obvious that his double was embarrassed, and Ed was pretty sure that the kid had been up to some sort of mischief.

"Come on," Ed coxed. "You can tell me. I swear I won't tell anyone." When the boy still looked hesitant, the older alchemist grinned and said, "You know you can trust me."

The blond kid folded his arms and lowered his head in thought. It was almost a full minute before the boy glanced up at his older double, studying Ed's face intently. Taking a deep breath, Edward stepped closer to Ed and sat down next to him. "Are you…" the child began, but paused as if nervous to ask. "Are you really… me?"

Ed nodded, but stayed silent. He had a feeling that the boy had more to say or ask. Amazement filled the young boy's eyes. "Wow…" Edward breathed. "I mean, I thought… but, _wow_!" The child moved onto his knees and practically crawled into Ed's lap. The seven year-old alchemist brought his face close to Ed's and stared hard into the older boy's eyes.

Ed was beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable with the boy's close proximity, but decided to let the child satisfy his curiosity. The young State Alchemist put the heavy book aside and pulled his double fully into his lap. The boy grinned and wiggled a little until he found a comfortable position, then reached up and grabbed Ed's braid.

"Why did you grow your hair long?" he asked, with a disapproving look.

Frowning, Ed sighed and said, "I don't know…"

The older alchemist wasn't sure what he should say, or how much he should say. His mother had always cut his and Alphonse's hair. After she died, Ed's hair grew and became rather scraggly since he wouldn't let Pinako touch it. After Izumi had agreed to teach him and Al, the woman had practically held him down so that she could cut it. The second, and last, time Izumi had cut his hair had been right before they had come back to Rizembool. Ed had complained, but his teacher hadn't needed to hold him down. By then Ed had begun to see her as a mother figure, not just a teacher.

Of course, the fact that she could whoop his ass had nothing to do with it…

Really.

"You don't know?" Edward asked skeptically.

Ed shrugged. "I guess I just got too lazy to cut it, that's all."

The boy didn't seem to buy the explanation, but left it alone. Instead the child asked, "How come you're wearing this?" Edward plucked at the long red coat.

"It's winter from my when," Ed lied, then said, not wanting his double to ask any more questions, "Okay, my turn to ask some stuff."

Edward looked disappointed, but nodded.

"You know, I think you were trying to use this array so that you could play some sort of prank on Al, but of course I don't know for sure, so why don't you tell me what were you trying to do with this. And don't give me that 'I don't know' shit," Ed added when he saw the boy begin to shrug.

Edward's eyes widened and he said, "You swore!"

Ed rolled his eyes and stared dolefully at the seven year old. "Who the fuck cares?"

The kid's cheeks puffed out as if he were holding his breath, then he jumped off Ed's lap and ran to the door. Grabbing the doorknob, Edward grinned and shouted, "I'm telling!" before pulling the door open and running out of the room.

* * *

"We're truly sorry to impose on you…" the colonel lied smoothly.

Major Mustang rolled his eyes. His older double was a conniving, manipulating, _slime_ of a man, and yet Roy couldn't help but feel jealous of his older double's abilities. The man practically had the Elric woman in the palm of his hand. As much as the younger alchemist disliked the man, he had to admit that he was impressed.

The brunette woman shook her head, blushing slightly, "It's really no trouble at all. I just hope this all gets worked out…"

The major nodded. That was what he wanted too. He just wanted to go on with his life and pretend this morbid nightmare never happened. Roy didn't like to think that he was going to end up an arrogant bastard with no redeeming qualities.

And then there was the brat.

Roy was sure he and the blond teen could become friends if they spent a little time together, but…

Damn!

A State Alchemist?

At _twelve_ no less…!

How the _hell_ had _that_ happened?

Besides the fact that Mrs. Elric seemed to be besotted by the colonel's charm and good looks; she obviously cared very little for the military. He had no doubts that the woman wouldn't be sad to see him and the older man leave.

So why would she have let her son join the military?

And ever more curious: Why had the military allowed it?

Roy really hated not knowing what was going on.

Someday he hoped to know everything, and be able to keep others in the dark. He knew it was petty, but that's really how he felt at that moment.

The colonel took the brunette woman's hand in his and was about to say something else when the sound of a door crashing open and squeals of laugher met their ears. They turned as running feet against the wooden floor announced the rushed arrival of seven-year old Edward Elric.

* * *

"MOOOOM!" the boy yelled.

A moment later the teenaged version of the small blond rushed into the room.

When Edward collided with her legs, Trisha was nearly bowled over by the force, but the colonel, still holding her hand, steadied her. The boy looked up at her and again wailed, "Mooom!"

Frowning, Trisha studied the boy's face. Edward had that look on his face that he always had when he was trying to get Alphonse into trouble. It was a look of cunning delight. Although the two boys usually got along very well, she still worried about her youngest at times. Edward liked to push the limits. He liked to know _why_ he wasn't allowed to do thing, and when her oldest didn't have a reason that was good enough for him, he would do it anyway, often dragging Alphonse with him.

And, at times, Edward wasn't above pinning the blame on his brother. Trisha knew her sons well enough that she could see right through whatever Edward was saying, but other adults were different. Many times poor Alphonse ended up getting the worse punishment and often her youngest wouldn't put up too much of a fight. The sandy haired boy was a follower, not a leader like his older brother.

Trisha was often afraid that one day Edward would drag Alphonse into something neither of them could escape.

A tugging on her skirt brought Trisha out of her thoughts. "Mooom! Didn't you hear what I said?"

"You little _brat_!" the fifteen year old yelled.

Her oldest turned his head and screamed, "DON'T CALL ME _LITTLE_!"

"Boys!" she said, trying to get their attention, but couldn't be heard over the fighting.

"THAT'S RIGHT! YOU'RE SO LITTLE SHE COULDN'T EVEN _HEAR_ YOU!"

The boy turned slightly and pointed at the teenager in fury. "WHAT ABOUT YOU? YOU _SAY _YOU'RE FIFTEEN, BUT YOU LOOK MORE LIKE YOU'RE _TEN_!"

"_Boys_!" Trisha tried again.

The teenager took a menacing step forward. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THEY GET CONFUSED WITH A TEN YEAR OLD GIRL, YOU FREAKISHLY SMALL…"

"_BOYS!_" Trisha yelled, interrupting the teenager. The two blonds looked at her as if surprised she was there. "What in the _world_ is going on here?"

"Nothing," Ed began to say, but Edward quickly overrode him.

"Mom, Ed swore."

"Oh?"

Edward nodded seriously, then after a few seconds of silence added, "Twice."

For a moment, Trisha said nothing, only stared down at the boy, then she brought her head up and looked pointedly at Ed. "Edward Elric,_ you_ _know_ I don't like you boys swearing. Because you're older, I expect more from you. You need to be a good example. Now, I'm not going to wash your mouth out with soap, but I do want you to think about what you've done. Go back to the back room until I come and get you."

Trisha watched several emotions play out on the teenager's face. Anger, most likely directed at little Edward; embarrassment, probably because she was addressing him the same way she would either of the younger boys; thoughtfulness, Trisha had no idea why; then finally acceptance and understanding.

At least, she hoped it was understanding.

Trisha wasn't sure what right she had to discipline the older boy, but if she did nothing her little ones might get it in their heads that they could get away with it too.

So it was a compromise.

She would send him in the back room. It had never been much of a punishment, but it showed that she didn't accept the action either.

Ed nodded and turned to go to the back room, but stopped and glared at the colonel. She looked over at the man and saw he was grinning. The blond's eyes flitted down and Trisha felt a squeeze on her hand. In all the commotion she had forgotten the man still held her hand! She quickly pulled her hand out of the older man's grasp. She didn't want he son to get the wrong idea.

Without taking his eyes off the teenager, Colonel Mustang said, "You are correct, Mrs. Elric. It is important for the older generation to be a good example." The man turned his head and looked at her. "You are truly a wise woman," the last was said softly, the tone almost a caress.

She blushed. How did the man _do_ that?

A growling sound came from the older blond and she looked at him. "Shut up, old man! If it's such a wise statement maybe you should follow that advice."

Trisha saw that although the man glowered at the teen, a small smirk also played around his mouth.

Again something struck her as…odd…not quite right…

The brunette mentally added it to the list of questions she had for her teenage son.

Trisha watched as the blond stalked out of the room. What she really wanted to do was follow him and talk to her son now, but she still had a few things to do around the house, before it got completely dark, and then of course there was getting the two boys to settle down and having them ready for bed. Her gaze turned to the two dark haired men. She also had guests that needed to be seen to.

Part of her just wanted to scream in frustration, but she knew she would just have to be patient. After all, Trisha Elric hadn't lasted all these lonely years, being a single mother with her husband gone, by selfishly acting on her own desires.

She would talk to Ed.

When she retrieved him from the back room, there would be time for talking.


	6. Shock

**Future Memories**

**Chapter Six**

**Shock**

There was silence in the room for a minute until the sound of a door could be heard shutting down the hall, then Trisha looked around the room. Frowning, she looked down at Edward and said, "Where's Alphonse?"

The boy looked at her blankly for a moment then shrugged.

"I'd like you to go find him. The two of you need a bath and…" The blond boy opened his mouth to protest but she rode over what he was about to say. "…_and_ I want you boys to get ready for bed. It will be past your bedtime by the time you actually get into bed."

"But…"

"No, buts."

"Bu…"

"Edward…."

The boy frowned and nodded before walking to the doorway. When he got there he turned around and said, "Mom?"

"What is it sweetheart?"

"Will you read to us tonight?" he asked hopefully.

Trisha sighed. She tried to read to them every night but sometimes she just had too many things that had to be done. Tonight she was so far behind that she wasn't sure when she'd finish everything.

"I can't tonight Edward… I'm sorry."

"Oh…" The disappointment was evident in his face.

Suddenly the major spoke up. "How about I tell you and your brother some stories tonight?"

"Like what?" the blond boy asked.

"I have lots of good stories. I grew up in the East you know.(1) There's tons of stuff to tell."

"Really?" the boy asked, his voice betraying a hint of excitement.

"Of course there are," the colonel chimed in sarcastically. "There are stories of cows, chickens, sheep, goats… you take your pick. Any of them are bound to put you right to sleep."

The major glared at his double before walking over to the boy and motioning him out the door. The younger man looked back and smiled slightly at Trisha before following the boy. She could hear him say, "Don't mind the old guy, he's thinking of his old girlfriends not…" But she couldn't hear the rest.

She tried not to chuckle at the major's comments, but couldn't help letting out a little laugh when she saw the colonel's face.

"Well…" she said, still chuckling, "I need to get the laundry taken down off the line and folded before it's completely dark, and then finish cleaning up from dinner…so… well, I guess if you would like to read some of the books in my husband's study, you're welcome to do that."

The colonel nodded, then said, "I'll take you up on that, but how about I take care of the laundry and you finish things up in here?"

Trisha grinned. A man who would do laundry…oh if only she were single… That thought made her think of her husband and the grin slipped from her face. If only her love would return to her…

"Well, if you're sure…" she said.

The dark-haired man nodded. "We alchemists believe in equivalent exchange. Here you've given us dinner and you'll be giving us a place to stay, but we haven't done anything for you." He walked to the door, then turned with a small smile on his face. "Besides, I know there are other things you'd rather be doing right now." His eyes flitted to where her teenage son was, then he turned around and was gone.

* * *

An hour later found Trisha standing in front of the door to the back room. She hadn't expected the military men to step in and be so helpful. She had listened with a smile on her face as the young major easily persuaded the boys to bathe after hearing part of a story about defending a flock of sheep from a wild cat.

There was no way the story could possibly be true, but the telling of it was interesting and hilarious. The major had stopped half way through, threatening the boys that they wouldn't hear the rest of it until they were clean and in their pajamas.

The brunette woman shook her head. It was obvious that the younger of the two men felt quite comfortable around children, while the older man wasn't exactly sure what to do with them. Again, she compared what she had observed about the two men. It was hard to believe they were the same person.

The older man was a little more stiff and formal, and he seemed to have a lazy streak too. He was more knowledgeable, more sober and mature in the way he presented himself. The colonel also seemed to pick up on things rather quickly.

The younger man, though quick to let his temper flare at the older man's jabs, had a more relaxed air around him. He had more of an innocence to him than the older man, and still knew how to be playful. She could also tell he had a lot of pride, and didn't want to be a burden to anyone.

But no matter their differences, it seemed to her that they were good men.

Trisha frowned, and wondered how someone could change so much in just eight years. She sighed and put her hand on the door knob. She'd probably never find out.

Turning the knob, she let herself quietly into the room, but the teenager sitting on the floor heard her anyway and looked up from the large, heavy book he'd been reading. It was the book from earlier. When their eyes met, he smiled impishly and said, "So can I come out now?"

* * *

Trisha sat down on the square slab of cement that was their front porch and looked over as Ed did the same. She watched him lift the heavy book and look at it for a moment before dropping it onto the ground. The book made a soft thudding sound as it made contact with the dirt.

He looked over at her then glanced back down at the book. Sighing, she gazed up at the star filled sky; the moon, a small sliver in the sky. The air was alive with the sound of crickets… She looked back at Ed and smiled softly. Despite it being summer, a cool evening breeze blew, making that one stubborn lock of hair that stuck up on her son's head dance in a swaying motion.

The brunette woman couldn't help but think, once again, how much like his father the boy looked. She let her eyes wander over the blond braid the boy kept, wondering how it would look in a ponytail, just like her husband usually wore his.

Then her gaze touched his clothes and she frowned. He was wearing so much _black_. It was rather depressing… Black leather pants, a black silver lined jacket, a black undershirt, and heavy black boots…

And then of course there was the long red coat with the strange symbol on the back…

Trisha shook her head.

It had to be some sort of bizarre teenage thing…

But then she'd never seen any of the other teenagers that lived in Rizembool wear such odd, outlandish clothing.

The silence between them was becoming oppressive and uncomfortable, so she said, "How is Alphonse?"

There was a slight jerk of the shoulders, then a pause before he answered, still not looking at her, "Oh well… he's doing okay… I mean, I just saw him right before I was brought here…"

Trisha frowned at his hesitant and vague answer.

"Is he healthy? I mean, is he okay physically?"

The blond teenager glanced briefly at her, a guilty look in his eye, before looking back down and said, "Yeah… He has great stamina… He can run farther and faster and longer than I can… and he's..." A pause, then some muttering before the boy continued. "... and he's… taller… than me…"

She chuckled slightly. Her poor Edward had always been sensitive about his height. Trisha reached out a hand and gave the teen a small half hug. "Well, you've gotten _much_ taller too. I'm sure you'll out grow Alphonse someday." Truthfully, she wasn't sure that Ed would ever outgrow his younger brother, but she knew her son liked hearing it, and it was her job as a mother to see to it that her children had smiles on their faces.

Ed looked at her ruefully and said, "I don't know. Al's gotten pretty tall…"

Trisha smiled and gave him another squeeze. Ed turned a little, but looked somewhat hesitant. Luckily for the teenager, Trisha knew her sons pretty well. She patted her lap, knowing that he wanted more contact with her. A sheepish look filled his face and he laid on his side, letting his head fall into her lap.

Truthfully, it seemed a rather odd thing. Ed was fifteen now, but the yearning look in his eyes had told her that he desperately wanted her to let him be near her. Trisha lifted a hand and gently stroked his golden blond hair.

The silence was no longer oppressive, but strangely comforting.

She started to rub his right arm, but when he stiffened and moved it away she moved her hand down the fabric of his coat and rubbed what part of his back that she could reach.

Suddenly her eyes touched on a heavy silver chain that led from Ed's wide brown belt down to his pocket. A large lump in the fabric of the pocket made the leather stretch tightly over something round…

Curious, she lifted her hand and touched the cool metal of the chain. Trisha felt the teenager's body tense again, but when she began to pull on the chain, he made no move to stop her. After a moment, a silver pocket watch emerged from his pocket. The brunette lifted it in her hands. It was heavy and warm from Ed's body heat. She ran a finger over the smooth metal of the watch then turned it over. Her eyes widened when she saw the military symbol on the other side. Trisha touched the symbol lightly with one finger.

This was the watch of a State Alchemist.

"Edward…" she began hesitantly. Trisha couldn't believe that this watch could possibly rightfully belong to her son. "Where did you get this?" She hoped that he would tell her that he'd bought it, or stolen it. Better for him to have taken something that wasn't his than to have become a dog…

But there was no answer to her question. The teenager sighed and sat up, taking the watch gently from her hands and holding it in his own. When the brunette's eyes met her son's golden ones, she saw a maturity there that she hadn't seen before. Not only that, but determination and pain mixed with shame.

The blond teen depressed the button at the top of the watch and looked at the inside for a long moment before snapping the lid shut. Letting his hand fall heavily to his lap, Ed whispered painfully, "I earned it."

She gasped softly.

No…

Not her little boy…

Not her Edward…

Tears pricked at her eyes as she watched his head slowly lower in self-disgust. Her son's eyes closed and a single tear rolled gently down his smooth cheek.

Trisha felt a pain deep in her chest. It was as if someone had reached inside and squeezed her heart until there was nothing left. Her breath was labored and her vision was blurring with tears. A vision came to her mind of her little seven-year-old Edward fighting desperately in a horrific battle with men dying all around him.

No…

This Edward was fifteen, not seven years old, not her baby boy…

But he _was_ her baby.

And he was _only_ fifteen.

How could the military be so heartless to bring a little boy into their ranks?

When she couldn't hold back the pain any longer, a mournful sob burst from her and the tears which had been accumulating in her eyes ran rivulets down her face. Trisha squeezed her eyes shut and buried her head in her hands.

"Mom…" came a shaky, heavyhearted plea. "Mom… please don't cry…"

She blindly reached over, grabbing a hold of his coat, and pulled the boy close. Trisha felt a hand gently rub her back as if to comfort her.

"Please…" he whispered brokenly.

His sorrowful tone did nothing to soothe her however and she only cried harder.

Her baby.

Her precious little boy…

State Alchemists were _dogs_… dogs that would viciously attack whatever the state commanded them to.

Living weapons…

"I'm sorry…" Ed whispered, his voice full of distress and anguish. "I'm so sorry for everything…"

"No," Trisha whispered back as she finally was able to calm a little. "No… it's not your fault…."

An agonizing sob wrenched from the teenager. "Yes it is… it's all my fault… everything… you just don't know…"

She held him close, his tortured cries breaking her heart. With tears streaming down her face, she rocked him back and forth, humming a small tune. They sat there on the stone porch for a long time.

Neither speaking.

The only sounds were from the crickets and the soft sounds of their grief.

How long they sat there that way, they didn't know.

Finally, Ed said, "I'm sorry… I never wanted to make you sad. We should have told you earlier…"

It was then that something clicked in Trisha's brain and she pulled out of the embrace.

"We?"

The boy blinked in confusion and stared at her for a moment before understanding dawned in his eyes. "Yeah… me… and the colonel…"

"You_ know_ that man?"

He swallowed hard and nodded.

"Well, that certainly does explain a few things…" she muttered, thinking of how the colonel had looked at her son.

"What do you mean?" he asked in confusion.

When she told him of the looks she had noticed, Ed blushed and looked away.

This reaction made something else click in her brain and cold prickles touched her skin. "How _well_ do you know him…?" she asked suspiciously.

The blond boy rubbed the back of his neck and kept his eyes from looking toward her. "Pretty well…" he whispered in embarrassment.

The sorrow she had been feeling at learning her teenage son was in service to the state began to heat slowly into rage. "Define 'pretty well'."

When he said nothing, she asked tightly, "Has that man been… intimate… with you?" She couldn't bring herself to ask if they'd had _sex_. The words were too blunt…

Deep red filled his face and neck and he nodded in obvious humiliation.

Rage turned to white hot fury as she realized that, not only was her son chained to the military like a dog on a leash, but he was being used for someone else's pleasure.

Trisha stood up quickly and slammed the door open. Storming into the house, she could hear the teenager call after her, "Wait, let me explain!" But she couldn't wait…

No one touches her son like that!

No one!

In a livid rage, Trisha threw open the door to the study where a surprised colonel looked up from where he was standing in front of a bookcase.

"Mrs. Elric? Is something…?" the colonel began, but cut off when a she slapped him.

"How _dare_ you!" she yelled.

The dark haired man blinked and put a hand to his face. "I'm sorry, what…" But another slap cut off what he was about to say.

Suddenly, she heard Ed rush into the room. "Wait!" he yelled, but she ignored him.

"How dare you touch my son!" she asked and tried to hit him again, but he stepped back.

"Mom! Please, just let me explain!"

When the colonel looked up to where her son was, she hit him again as hard as she could. This time he gave out a cry of pain. "You lecherous _pervert_! How _dare_ you use my Edward to satisfy your primal urges!" Trisha tried to hit him again, but he caught her arm and held it away from his face.

"Mrs. Elric, please calm down," the man said in a commanding voice, but she was having none of that and pounded on his chest with one of her fists.

"You stay away from my son! Is that why the military let a _little boy_ become a State Alchemist? So that he could be taken advantage of by people like you?"

"Mrs. Elric, that is definitely _not_ what I had in mind when I suggested he become a State Alchemist."

Trisha gasped and her eyes widened.

_He suggested?_

_He?_

Screaming incoherently, Trisha tried to hit him again. Not only was this man taking advantage of her son's innocence, but he was also the one who directed him to the military in the first place!

She had to protect her little boy from this man! Pain and anger raced through her as she tried desperately to free herself from his grip…

* * *

Major Mustang snapped awake instantly when he heard the screaming downstairs. Untangling himself from the two little boys who had fallen asleep during his stories, he rushed out of the room, and down the stairs.

When Roy saw the blond teenager, he rushed toward him, but the boy paid him no mind and instead yelled, "Mom!" before running into the room.

When Roy got to the doorway and looked inside the study, he was surprised to see Ed holding one of his mother's arms and the colonel holding the other. He walked into the room and was about to say something when the woman yelled, "I'm going to report you! Somehow I will! You pedophile! You sleazy, dirty, degenerate, despicable, excuse for a man! How dare you take advantage of my little boy?"

Roy's eyes widened as he took in the situation with new understanding.

"Mom, pleeeeaaase! It isn't like that!" the boy yelled.

_I don't believe it..._ Roy thought. _He's screwing that kid... His own subordinate..._ It all made sense. No wonder the older man had seemed so jealously protective over the younger alchemist.

"Mom!" the teen yelled, trying to get her to listen to him. "I love him, mom!"

At those words the brunette woman froze and looked at the blond with anguish in her eyes.

"I _love_ him…" Ed whispered again, a tormented look on his face.

Suddenly, Roy heard a small whimpering noise, and he looked down to realize the two little boys had woken up and come to see what was happening. The older blond was hugging his sandy-haired younger brother tightly as they watched the scene play out.

Roy crouched down beside the boys and put his arms around them, and looked back up to the drama on the other side of the room.

The brunette woman's arms fell limply to her sides as the other two let go of them. She looked from Ed to the older Roy in disbelief and shock before a sob burst from her.

"Mom…" Ed whispered, and reached out a hand, but before he could touch her, she turned blindly away and staggered out of the room. Roy could hear her make her way up the stairs.

For a moment there was silence in the room except for the whimpering of the two little boys. "Mommy…" little Alphonse mewled. Seven-year-old Edward hugged the boy tightly and Roy could see tears shimmering in the golden orbs, but he was obviously trying to be brave in the face of this scary new development.

Roy pulled both of the boys closer and whispered that things would be okay before looking up at the older Ed and Roy.

The teenager was staring dejectedly at nothing as tears ran silently down his cheeks. The colonel, whose face bore a couple of red handprints, sighed and put a hand on the blond's shoulder.

"Ed…" he whispered.

The teenager shrugged away the gesture with a muttered, "fuck off… bastard…", but the older man just stepped forward and took the boy in his arms. Roy had to admit, his older double had nerve. He certainly wouldn't have been able to try again after he'd been rejected like that.

"Ed… What happened?" the older Roy whispered again. "What did you tell her?"

The blond boy's arms which had been hanging limply at his sides, rose slowly and held tightly to the dark haired man's military jacket before a tormented sob broke from him.

As much as Roy would have loved to know what the hell was going on, he thought it best to give them some privacy, and the two little boys needed to be reassured.

"Come on," he whispered to the small boys. "Let's go back upstairs."

They looked unsure, but when Roy offered to carry them up, the children each put their arms around his neck. With one last glance at the older doubles, Roy lifted the boys up and carried them back to their room.

* * *

1 – The manga says that Roy grew up in the east and it also makes reference to him being a 'country bumpkin', so I'll just make a few assumptions here for the sake of the story, although nothing is said for sure about that part of Roy's past.


	7. Questions

**Future Memories**

**Chapter Seven**

**Questions**

Alphonse opened his eyes, sat up, and looked around. He had been lying curled up to that man who told really funny stories. He looked over and saw that his older brother was snuggled close to the man on the other side.

Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, the sandy haired boy thought briefly about waking his brother up. After all, he didn't want to be awake by himself, but decided against it because his brother got kind of grouchy in the mornings and then they'd probably wake the dark haired man up.

When Alphonse slid out of bed, the man in the blue uniform shifted slightly and Edward unconsciously snuggled more fully into the older man's arms.

Slipping out of the room him and his brother shared, Alphonse padded down the hall and peaked into his mother's room. She was still asleep. The six-year-old crept softly across the floor until he reached the bed. He really wanted to hug her because she had been so sad last night. After a few minutes of internal debate, he finally decided against it. He would let her sleep for now. Quietly exiting the room, Alphonse padded softly downstairs.

When he walked past the study, the sandy haired boy stopped and looked into the room. The other man and the boy who looked like his brother were lying on the floor asleep.

He thought they must be really cold since they were huddled up so closely together. After a moment of thought, the small boy retrieved a blanket from a closet and crept silently into the room.

The child looked at the two sleeping people for a moment, then carefully laid the blanket over them as best as he could. He stepped back and looked skeptically at his work. They weren't covered very well, but he didn't want to wake them up so he left it how it was.

Alphonse padded out of the study and looked into the kitchen. He was hungry, but he supposed he'd have to wait until his mother got up to make breakfast.

Sighing heavily, the boy let himself outside.

Everyone was still asleep…

How boring…

But then, it _was_ early.

After shutting the door, Alphonse turned around and stepped out onto the step, but only got a few small paces before he tripped over something. He cried out in pain as his knees and hands hit the cement hard.

He turned over onto his rear and whimpered softly at his scraped hands and knees. Alphonse tried hard not to cry, his brother was always telling him what a crybaby he was, but he couldn't help it.

Alphonse sniffled loudly as big tears formed in his eyes, then he pulled his knees close to his chest and began sobbing quietly.

He wanted his mom.

He wanted someone to hug him, and kiss his hands and knees, and make it all better.

A moment later the little boy heard the door open and close softly. He hugged his knees harder and tried to be even quieter, but it only made him cry more.

"Hey… What's all this about?" a voice that sounded like his brother's, only deeper, asked.

Alphonse looked up to see two golden eyes staring down at him in concern. The child's voice hitched as he said, "I tripped over that book…"

The teenager frowned, then scooped the crying boy into his arms before sitting down on the cement.

"I'm sorry Al…" the blond teen said softly. "I forgot and left it there last night. Forgive me?" Alphonse nodded and let himself be hugged tightly by the older boy.

When Alphonse was finally able to stop crying, he looked up at the teenager and said, "Did I wake you up?" After he asked the question, Alphonse was sure he'd start crying again. He'd tried really hard to not wake them.

"No. I was already awake."

"Really?" he asked, glad that he hadn't been the one to disturb them.

"Really. It was really nice of you to get us a blanket… You're always just too nice…" The older boy got a faraway look in his eyes for a moment, then glanced back down at Alphonse with a sad expression. The teenager ran a finger along the boy's cheeks and said softly, "It's been too long. You know that? I'd forgotten…I didn't realize it, but I'd forgotten… This is how you're supposed to be, Al, this is how you're supposed to look…"

The sandy haired boy felt a bit confused at the other boy's ramblings. He reached up his own hand and touched the blond teen's chin. "You really _do _look like brother, even though he says you don't…"

The teenager smiled and said, "Why do you think that is?"

The small boy dropped his hand back down and thought hard. "The two soldiers look the same too."

The older boy nodded again, but said nothing.

Sighing, the child thought about all he knew. He knew that the man, the major, who told him and his brother stories came to the house before the older man and the blond teenager. That's what his mom had said. He also knew that his brother had been messing around with some array that he wasn't supposed to, like always… Then something went wrong and the major had gone to where Ed was and then…_and then_ the two new people came…

There was a lot here that Alphonse wasn't understanding, and when a conclusion came to his mind he tried to dismiss it because it didn't make any sense, but when it wouldn't go away he said, "You look the same because…because you _are_ the same…right?"

The blond teenager nodded with a grin. "You really _are_ smart, aren't you?"

Alphonse flushed with pride, then said, "But I don't understand… are you the same as brother, or are you brother…only older…?"

"I am him. Just older. I…the colonel and I are from the future. Eight years into the future."

Alphonse thought about this for a moment before reaching back up and touching the older boy's face. "You're my brother… You're Edward?"

His brother's double nodded and said, "Remember I said my name is Ed, right?"

The sandy haired boy nodded with a grin, all thoughts of his scrapes gone. "Should I call you 'brother' then?"

The older version of his brother smiled and said, "If you want, but it might be easier if you just call me 'Ed'. That way no one gets confused."

Alphonse considered this for a moment, then nodded.

It was then that the smile slipped from Ed's face and he said, "Al… I'm sorry."

The boy's forehead crinkled in confusion. "For what?"

The teenager sighed deeply. "I just am. For…well…for everything. If I…well, the younger me ever tries to get you to do something really stupid…just…just don't. Okay?"

"But bro…Ed, you…brother _always_ tries to get me to do stupid things."

The blond shook his head. "I mean something _really_ stupid; something with alchemy. Something…forbidden."

Alphonse looked at his older brother and nodded, even though he wasn't sure what the teenager was talking about.

At that moment, the little boy's stomach growled loudly. Ed grinned and asked, "Hungry?"

Alphonse nodded enthusiastically, but stopped when he remembered… "Mom is still sleeping," he said with a remorseful frown.

"Oh… right…" the blond teenager mumbled, then smiled at the child. "Well, why don't I make breakfast? Mom deserves a break don't you think?"

Alphonse nodded hesitantly. "Yeah…but…"

"What is it?"

"Well…I don't know…can you really cook?" the sandy haired boy asked doubtfully.

Ed grinned, "Of course I can. I mean, it's not _nearly_ as good as mom's cooking, but it's not _bad_." Alphonse looked at his older brother dubiously. He just couldn't believe it. "Oh come on, Al. Cooking isn't really _that_ hard. It's like doing alchemy, only with food. Besides, with all the trav…"

Alphonse's eyebrows knitted together in confusion when the teenager stopped talking, and his face went serious. Ed looked away for a moment, then looked back down at Alphonse with a small smile and said softly, "Yeah… I can cook. Let's go inside and you can help me, okay?"

Ed took Alphonse's hand when they stood up and as they walked to the door the teen snatched up the book before leading the boy into the house.

* * *

The sound of shrieking and laughter came from downstairs pulling Trisha away from the world of dreams and into the one of reality.

Reality?

She wasn't so sure.

After all, how real was it that her oldest son, who just happened to be seven years old, was also fifteen and in her house?

How _real_ was it that some random military man shows up at her house just when her son plays around with the wrong array and brings the future version of this military man, who _just happens_ to be the man who brings her son into the military… who _just happens_ to be…

To be having…

…with her son…

Tears formed in her eyes and she hugged her pillow tightly.

Her little boy… a _dog_.

…a dog of the military…

And in love with the man that brought him to that.

In love.

"_I love him mom!"_ the teenager's words echoed in her mind.

Him.

He loved _him._

She'd always thought her boys would grow up and fight over the Rockbell girl…

'_Him'_ had never even entered her mind.

Especially not a 'him' who was…what? How many years older? Ten? Fifteen? She didn't even know.

In her mind she pictured the younger of the two men beside her seven year-old boy. The anger from the night before bubbled warmly beneath the surface of her pain, and she had to push that image away, and replace it with the one of the older man and the teenager who her little boy would become.

Fifteen.

He was _fifteen_.

Of course it wasn't uncommon in Rizembool for people his age to get married, but they usually got married to people close to their own age, and of the opposite sex…

How long had this been going on?

Love just doesn't happen overnight.

When did he become a State Alchemist?

How did it happen?

_Why_ had she let it happen?

"_Oh well… He's doing okay… I mean, I just saw him right before I was brought here…" _Ed's words from the night before suddenly slammed into her brain.

If he'd just saw Alphonse…and Ed was in the military…did that mean…

Fear flashed through her and she put a hand over her mouth.

Ed _had_ seemed rather reluctant to talk about his younger brother…

"No…" she breathed. _No, not him too, not my sweet Alphonse..._

Trisha couldn't bear the thought of both of her little boys at the State's mercy. It was bad enough that her little Edward was…but…Alphonse was so gentle, and so…

The smell of bacon frying met her nose and she suddenly realized how long she had spent in bed. Her boys were probably starving right about now, but then someonewas cooking something, so the children _would_ be fed…

Sighing, Trisha forced herself out of bed. She couldn't stay there all day, no matter how much she wanted to. No matter how much she didn't want to face them. There were just too many things that needed to be done.

Wiping the tears away from her eyes, Trisha changed out of her slept in clothes from yesterday and tried to think of what she was going to do next.

She had so many questions…


	8. Love

**Future Memories**

**Chapter Eight**

**Love**

Major Roy Mustang sighed and pulled what was in his arms closer to him.

Another body.

Warm…

Slowly his consciousness floated to the surface of his mind and he realized he was not at home in his bed, nor had he brought home a date the night before…

Roy's eyelids cracked open to reveal a shock of messy blond hair.

Blond…?

It was then that the memories crashed into his mind. The Elric woman, the array, his double, the little boys, the fifteen year-old State Alchemist, the fight, the fact that his older self was putting his position at risk by screwing around with his underage subordinate…who just happened to be the older version of the child in his arms…

Roy sighed and held the boy even closer. It was strange to think that this child would become his _lover_…

He smiled softly down at the smooth, angelic face of the sleeping boy. Of course he'd thought the teenager was attractive, but he'd never thought he'd stand a chance. His smile slipped when he thought again of the age difference. Even when the Elric boy was fifteen that would still be a fourteen year difference…

How did they make it work?

Just what kind of a relationship did they have anyway?

Despite his looks and his brain, both the child and the teen were both brats. How did his older double deal with the teenager?

Roy gently brushed his fingers against the child's face.

Eight years.

In eight years he would have a relationship with this boy…

He supposed he could wait that long… He'd have to, of course. Roy wasn't into little children like that…

Suddenly he remembered the Elric woman's rage the night before when she had learned about what was going on between the colonel and the teenager. What if she woke up and found him sleeping with the little seven year-old? Would she freak out on him too? It wasn't as if he had done anything wrong, but when it came to mothers protecting their young…

Well…women were just scary sometimes…

As nice as this snuggling was, it was time to end it for now.

"Hey kid…" Roy said and shook the boy in his arms.

Nothing.

The major sighed and shook the boy again. This time the blond child moaned and lifted his head to look at his living pillow. A long string of saliva ran from the boy's mouth to Roy's uniform and the dark haired man's mouth turned down into a disgusted frown.

The kid had drooled on him…

Gross.

The blond boy smacked his lips together and wiped his arm along his mouth. Roy grimaced at the wet slobber that was now running along the skin of Edward's arm. He hoped that the kid moved past this unattractive habit as he got older…

"It's time to get up," Roy said when the boy looked vaguely down at him.

"Huh?"

"It's wake up time," he repeated.

The boy blinked. "Breakfast?"

Roy raised an eyebrow in amusement. He'd said _nothing_ about food…

"Yeah, sure kid, whatever you want," the major said. He really didn't want the boy's mother to come in to find them alone on the bed together.

The blond boy looked around the room. "Where's Al?"

"I don't know. Probably in the piss… er… ah… probably going potty or something…" Roy amended and cringed. That wasn't the kind of language one used around little kids... Besides, the major remembered what kind a vindictive little shit the kid could be, and he didn't want to give his mother anymore reason to be upset.

"Hmmm, maybe…" the boy said, then looked down. Roy heard the clinking of metal then the blond held up his silver pocket watch, or at least, he held it up as far as the chain would allow since it was still attached to Roy's uniform. "Coooool," the kid breathed.

"You know what that is?" the dark haired man asked with a grin.

"It's a _watch_. Duh," Edward answered snidely.

Roy rolled his eyes at the kid's impertinence. "Yes, it's a watch, but do you know what it does?"

The boy stared at him with a look that said, 'Are you a moron, or are you just pretending to be one?'

"_Besides_ tell time," Roy said defensively. When the kid shook his head, the major said, "It amplifies alchemic reactions. This is the symbol for a State Alchemist. When you become one, you'll get one too."

Edward looked at the watch, then shrugged, "I don't want to be a State Alchemist."

Roy blinked. "You don't?" If the kid didn't want to be a State Alchemist, then how did he become one at age twelve. It usually took many years of studying to be able to pass the written test. He would have had to start studying some time soon to reach that level of knowledge… wouldn't he?

"Nope," the kid responded.

"Well then… what _do_ you want to do when you grow up?" Roy asked.

The boy glared at the dark haired man and said, "Are you calling me short…?"

The major blinked. Short? Where did the kid pick up on stuff like that? He hadn't said anything about the boy's height…

"No, I wasn't."

Edward looked at him grumpily, then said, "I'm going to write books when I get older."

"Books?"

The boy nodded.

"So you want to be like your dad?"

The blond raised his fist in livid anger. "No way! I'm going to be _better_ than that bastard!"

Roy stared at the boy in surprise, then a grin slowly crept across his face as he thought of a way to keep the boy in check. "You swore."

Edward blinked, then looked worriedly toward the door.

"I should probably tell your mom…"

The kid looked at him with a scared look on his face. "No, don't tell her, _please._ She'll make me chew up soap…"

A shriek and a squeal of laughter sounded downstairs and it was then that Roy noticed the smell of bacon frying.

Roy's grin widened. "Well. I'll _think_ about not telling her…until then I suppose I'll keep it in my pocket to make sure you behave yourself…"

The boy stared at him angrily. "You're a bastard too!" Edward whispered savagely, then rolled off the bed stomped out of the room.

He stared at the doorway for a moment, wondering if his older double's relationship with the teen was this amusing, then stood up and left the room.

* * *

Colonel Mustang sat on the floor with his back against the wall, legs stretched out and listened to the noise coming from the kitchen.

What a mess.

This whole situation was a total mess.

He lifted a hand to his face where the Elric woman had hit him. It didn't hurt anymore, but sometimes he swore he felt a sting on his cheek; a lingering memory of the pain to fit the thoughts that kept running through his head.

The look in the woman's eyes had been of a primal animal protecting her young.

Her child.

And wasn't that just what Edward was?

He was still underage, so yes, he was still a child.

She had every right.

Every right.

'_I love him, mom!'_ The words Ed had said rung like cold chimes through his head.

Love.

Trisha Elric had been stunned by those words.

She wasn't the only one.

Love…

"Damn you Ed…" Roy whispered.

They had never spoken of _love._

He had never…

Ed had never…

What had started out as an innocent game had quickly become infatuation…

And infatuation had quickly become need.

Physical need…

For them both.

He'd never meant for it to go this way; never meant for it to be anything other than a sport.

Just fun.

Just…

He should have known better. He should have realized that Ed wasn't playing the same game as him.

And what did he think?

What did he feel?

Roy had thought he knew…

He did know.

Until last night.

But now everything was just… _confusion_…

Love.

So Ed loved him.

Ed…

It seemed almost ludicrous, and yet he felt glad.

Glad and excited.

Eager.

But still confused.

What the hell _did_ he feel for Ed?

After the brunette woman had gone, Roy had seen the fear in the younger alchemist. It hadn't just been from what Trisha would think, but also fear concerning Roy's reaction. The colonel hadn't reacted, though. After the woman's emotional tirade, he'd felt too stunned to react.

So, he'd done the only thing he could think of…

It had felt so right to have Ed in his arms. Wasn't that enough? Did it really matter if Roy _loved_ the teen?

Maybe.

It might.

To Ed it would.

The sound of a door closing met his ears and Roy looked up to see the major walking toward him. The younger man looked down at Roy with a look of undeniable pity mixed with disgust.

"So here you are." The colonel raised an eyebrow at the simple statement, but said nothing. The major shook his head, sighed and sat on the floor in front of Roy. "You know… I really don't know what to make of all of this…" The younger man trailed off and seemed to wait for the colonel to say something. When the older alchemist said nothing, the major continued. "That kid is your subordinate. I mean…what are you _thinking?_ Let's not forget the fact that he's _fifteen_."

Roy looked away from the other man. He didn't need to hear this right now…

The major made an exasperated noise and said, "And you call _me_ stupid."

Anger swam through the river of pain and confusion he was feeling, and he turned his head to glare at his younger double. "You _are_ stupid. Stupid _and_ naïve. You have no right to be lecturing me about anything. Do you think I don't know the risks associated that come with fooling around with my subordinate? Do you think I'm _blind_ to Ed's age, or that perhaps I don't know what consequences I'll be facing if anyone finds out?"

The major opened his mouth to say something, but Roy cut him off. "I don't want to hear anything from you. You and your _damn_ ideals… You foolishly joined the army and became a State Alchemist because you thought you'd be able to help people, but you know what?" There was a slight pause before Roy said, "You won't help anyone."

* * *

The Major's eyes darkened as he stared at the pathetic man in front of him. "With an attitude like that, I can see why you're such an asshole. Even though I'm just one soldier, I _can_ make a difference…" he trailed off as the colonel laughed bitterly.

"Oh you'll make a difference alright, though not exactly in the positive way you'd hoped."

At that statement Roy felt his heart drop. He stared hard at the man in front of him and saw a painful tiredness beyond the dark orbs that were normally filled with smug arrogance.

"What do you mean by that?" he whispered cautiously.

The colonel gazed at him thoughtfully for a moment before leaning forward and pulling his gloves out and slowly putting them on. The older man stared at his hands for a long moment before looking up in anguish.

"I once thought I could protect the world with these hands," the other alchemist said in an agonized whisper. "'Be thou for the people'… what a load of _shit_. Do you know what the truth is major?"

Roy shook his head.

"The truth is what is right in front of you. The _truth_ is what everyone says, and what no State Alchemist likes to hear. We're weapons. Dogs. Plain and simple. Anything else is only pretty wrapping. There is nothing admirable or good about what we are expected to do."

The colonel cast a tormented look at the younger man. "You should have listened to them when they told you not to sign up… Why did you have to be so stupid? Why are you always so stubborn? Why was I…?"

Roy swallowed hard when he heard the tremble in his older double's voice, and he had to push away the thought that came to him. The action was such a natural thing to do before he joined the army. But as he watched the colonel's head lower, and noticed the wet glossy look in the man's eyes, he couldn't hold back.

After all, this was him.

It was himself.

The man wasn't as hardened as Roy had first believed. Not if he could show emotion like this.

The younger man scooted over, took a deep breath, then put his arm over the other man's shoulders in a comforting gesture. The colonel stiffened slightly, then relaxed into the half embrace.

"I'd forgotten…" his double whispered.

"Don't worry about it," Roy whispered, then asked, "Why are you still in the army? You seem so against it."

There was a moment of silence then a heavy sigh. "I'm going to become Fuhrer one day. That's my goal."

"You're joking right…" Roy asked in shocked surprise.

The older man shook his head. "I couldn't change anything in the war. I…I…killed…a lot of people…"

When the colonel trailed off, Roy said, "It was war…" _What war? Certainly not that little conflict in Ishbal... _"People die. Soldiers have to kill sometimes…" _I don't know that I could ever kill anyone..._

"No," the older man said. "You don't understand. A lot. I killed _a lot _of people. Thousands. Just me… There were other State Alchemists too, but… I can't explain…please…I don't want to…I didn't want to…I had to obey my orders, but…" the colonel's voice became a bit stronger, "I _will_ become the Fuhrer and I _will_ change the way the military works. As one man, as one soldier, I can't do anything, but as the Fuhrer… I will."

Roy didn't know what to think.

_Thousands?_

He couldn't even imagine…

The younger man tightened his hold on the other man's shoulders, trying to convey some feelings of empathy.

They sat in silence for several minutes listening to the shouts and squeals coming from the three boys who were undoubtedly tearing the kitchen apart.

"I want to keep him safe," the colonel said softly. "Him…and Alphonse. I want them to reach their goals. I want them to succeed."

"What goals?" Roy asked curiously.

No answer.

The younger man sighed, and asked, "Do you…do you love him?"

The colonel lifted his head and stared at Roy with a look of painful confusion, but again there was no verbal answer.

There was no need.

The major could read what was written in those eyes very well.

Suddenly there were two high-pitched screams, a crash, then a long string of curses.

The two men looked at each other for a moment, not sure if they wanted to leave the safety of the study or not. Finally Roy stood up and reached his hand down to help the colonel up. "You know, I still think you're an arrogant bastard, right?" he said with a grin.

The older man smiled faintly, and took the younger alchemist's hand. When he was standing, he said, "You know I still think you're stupid and naïve, right?"

With amused grins on their faces, they crossed the study, opened the door and headed toward the kitchen.


	9. Lost

**Future Memories**

**Chapter Nine**

**Lost**

As Trisha made her way down the stairs, she heard two high-pitched screams, a crash, then a long string of curses. She stopped and listened for almost a full minute to Ed and Edward yell back and forth, and smiled sadly. Despite his stubbornness and temper, Edward really was a good boy, and from the sound of it, he hadn't changed too much in those areas as he'd gotten older.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs, Trisha heard a deeper voice say, "I really don't understand how someone so small can make such a large mess, Fullmetal."

This was followed by rants from both boys.

Her smile slipped slightly, thinking about the previous evening. How could she face them? Trisha still didn't approve of her son's relationship with that man, no matter what Ed said he felt. Teenagers fell in and out of love too easily for her to believe those feelings were concrete. That man should know that as well.

Besides…she hadn't missed the flicker of shock on the colonel's face when Ed had mentioned 'love'.

Sighing, Trisha continued toward the kitchen. She just didn't know what to think…

When the brunette woman reached the entrance of the kitchen she stopped in surprise. The two military men stood slightly in front and to the side of her towards the table. In the kitchen area were her two… three… sons. The two little boys were completely covered in flour, while only Ed's boots were white. A large mixing bowl lay on the floor, and flour was scattered everywhere.

Alphonse was standing on a chair near the stove, poking gingerly at something in the frying skillet with a fork; probably the bacon she smelled… The younger of her sons was watching Ed and Edward with a look of long suffering and slight embarrassment.

The two blond boys were both pointing a finger at the colonel and raging about… something… she couldn't even catch the words with both of them speaking. It was cute to see the twin expressions on them. Despite the age difference their body language was the same…

"What is going on here?" Trisha yelled loudly to be heard over the commotion.

Instantly the two blonds stopped their ranting, stood up straight and said innocently, "Nothing." For a moment, they stood like that, then Edward looked up at Ed, and Ed looked down at Edward with such a comical look of surprise that Trisha laughed.

It felt good to laugh after all the heavy thoughts and feelings she'd been having.

Instantly, Alphonse was off the chair and running toward her. The younger boy wrapped his flour covered arms around her and cried, "Are you okay now, mommy?"

At that, her expression turned sad. She looked down and petted Alphonse's dusty hair. In another moment, Edward was holding onto her too. She knelt down and put her arms around the boys. "I'm okay now," she lied. Nothing was okay right now, but her little ones didn't need to worry about that.

She pulled away from them and gazed at their worried faces. "Were you making breakfast for me?" That brought a smile to each of their faces and she hugged them again. "I am just the luckiest mom in the whole world."

Edward pulled back and looked down at the floor. "We were going to make some pancakes…but we spilled the last of the flour…"

"Well, let's not worry about that. You did fry the bacon. Why don't I scramble up some eggs…"

* * *

"You called my son, 'Fullmetal'…?" Trisha asked, breaking the silence at the table.

The colonel looked at her in surprise. "Uh… yeah, I did." His answer was short and to the point, but she supposed she didn't blame him given what had happened the night before. The man had been avoiding her gaze all morning.

"Why?"

"Well…" his voice trailed off as he cast a glance at the two little boys who were listening intently.

"Alright boys, go wash up," Trisha said and there was a round of 'aaaawwww mooooom', but in the end she got them to leave by promising them if they washed up now, she'd let them play outside instead of cleaning up the mess they'd made earlier.

"Every state alchemist is given a second name. Mine is 'Flame', Ed's is 'Fullmetal'," the colonel explained after the boys had gone.

_Fullmetal?_

She didn't like it.

It just sounded too… hard… too harsh.

Trisha's eyes narrowed and she said, "Why 'Fullmetal'?"

The older man looked quickly to Ed, then back to her. "I don't really think it's my place to explain that," he said avoiding her gaze. The colonel stood up and picked up his plate and headed toward the sink. "I'll let him tell you."

She had tried to be civil to the two military men when her little ones were in the room, but now that they were gone, she said coldly, "Since the military is _so_ helpful to the people, I'm sure the two of you won't mind cleaning up this mess?"

The two men looked at each other for a moment before the older one muttered, "Of course…"

She had almost wanted them to refuse so that she could vent some of her frustration. In a way, it was a bit unfair to have them clean it up, but she wanted…_needed_…to talk to her son. Besides, her bitter feelings toward the men helped her to not feel guilty about it.

Trisha turned her gaze to her teenage son as he idly poked at the remains of his breakfast. His eyes flitted up to her, then away.

She could understand.

She was nervous too…

"Sweetheart…" the brunette began, "I…I'm sorry about last night. Can we talk a little bit more?" She _was_ sorry. Sorry for losing control of her emotions, but not for hitting the man; not for trying to protect her son…

"Okay..." he murmured unhappily.

Her gaze wandered to where the two men were cleaning up. They were going about it very slowly and very quietly. No doubt they both were interested in listening to this conversation. She debated on whether or not she and Ed should leave. Maybe go outside for a walk or something. In the end she decided to stay at the table. So what if the men were listening? If she needed to yell at them more at least they'd be within reach.

And it wasn't as if the older one didn't know what Ed was going to say anyway, right? At least she assumed the colonel would know. Trisha supposed this was all unfair for the major who hadn't done anything wrong… yet… but was still caught in the crossfire.

The brunette grabbed her cup and held it between her hands. It was easier to look at the cup than at him…

"How long have you been a state alchemist?" she whispered nervously.

When he didn't answer immediately, Trisha glanced up to see him look at her in indecision. As if he wasn't sure if he should tell her, then he said, "I passed the tests a little bit after my twelfth birthday…"

"What!" she exclaimed loudly. She had been expecting maybe a year at the most but… "Since you were _twelve_?" It was hard to believe that the military would allow a fifteen year old in their ranks, but a _twelve-year-old_!

He nodded and scraped his fork against the plate.

"But… How did it happen? I mean…" she held back her tears with difficulty. "Why did they allow it? Why did I…" her voice trailed off when she thought of something from earlier. "Ed…" she said urgently. "What about Alphonse?"

The panicked look on his face made her heart drop. "What do you mean…?" he asked in an anxious whisper.

"He didn't join the military too, did he?" she forced herself to ask.

When relief washed over his features, Trisha didn't know whether to be relieved or worried.

"No, he didn't. He wanted to, but the colonel talked him out of it."

Trisha glanced at the older man then back to Ed. Well… at least that was _something_ the man had done right… But that brought about a whole new set of questions. Why had the man introduced them to the military anyway? Why did he try to talk them out of it? Or…did he only try to talk _Alphonse_ out of it? If so, then why not Edward?

"But not you?" she asked slowly.

He shook his head.

"Why?" she could hear her voice shaking and she swallowed, trying to keep her voice as neutral as possible.

The teenager ran a gloved finger over the rim of the plate, and said, "I wanted to do it…I …I _needed_ to do it."

"But... _why_?" Trisha asked and couldn't keep the anguish from her voice.

"Because, I have to find something I lost…" he replied, his voice starting to shake.

"What? What did you lose that would be worth chaining yourself to the military?"

For a moment he kept his gaze on the plate, then slowly he lifted his head and looked at her with liquid golden eyes. When he spoke, Trisha could hear the anguish and pain in every word.

"I…I lost…mom…I lost…" he stopped, swallowed, and with a single tear rolling down his haunted face, he said in a trembling whisper, "I lost Al…."

Trisha just stared at him in silent unbelief.

Her skin felt cold and tingly.

He had lost Alphonse?

But… hadn't Ed just said he'd just seen his brother before being brought here?

She didn't know what to say. She felt stunned beyond words. Edward had lost his younger brother…

Then all the questions came crashing into her head like a tidal wave. She tried to grab a hold of them, but all the 'hows' and 'whys' and 'whens' were like snowflakes that disappeared when she caught them.

Ed swallowed hard and when he spoke his voice cracked slightly. "Mom please…please don't be mad…"

Mad?

Don't be _mad?_

She was too shocked to be mad.

"Edward…" she said shakily, then stopped. Trisha wanted to get this right; wanted to stay in control of her emotions. Not only for her sake, but for her son's as well. "I…I just…_how_? What happened? I…you said…you said that you'd just seen him before you came here…"

Trisha stopped and ran a hand over her burning eyes. She longed to cry, and her chest hurt with the pain of holding back. "I just don't know, Ed. I don't know what to ask, or where to begin." A half sob, half laugh burst from her. "I don't even know if I want to know…but…I do. Please tell me."

She let her hand drop from her eyes, and gazed into the golden orbs that silently pleaded with her not to make him tell.

"I want to know Ed. I want to know it all. Don't hold back." Trisha sucked in her breath. It took everything she had to say it, but she continued, "Everything. Don't leave _anything_ out."


	10. Answers

**Future Memories**

**Chapter Ten**

**Answers**

The silence seemed to stretch on forever as Trisha watched her son think. His eyes moved over her face, but she knew he wasn't seeing her. The teenager seemed be having some internal struggle, because every now and then he would drop his face into his hands, shake his head and mumble quietly to himself. Each time he looked back up at her, his eyes seemed to be just a little more tired, just a little more weary.

Sometimes he would open his mouth to speak, but words would fail him. His eyes were slightly red from holding back a flood of tears; though every now and then one did escape and trickle hesitantly down his smooth cheeks.

"Edward…" she said softly, breaking the silence. At the sound of her voice, a small sob broke from him and he covered his face with his hands.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered, "I just don't know if I can…"

Trisha's eyes crinkled in empathy. She reached her hand across the table and took a hold of Ed's. "Please…" she whispered gently. She had to know; it was killing her not knowing.

"I…I'm not…I don't really know where I should start…" he mumbled, as he looked down at the hand holding his.

The brunette woman sighed as she realized she'd probably have to drag all of this out of him. "Tell me about Alphonse…"

His face crumpled in agony. The hand she was holding squeezed hers and she wondered vaguely why he was still wearing gloves, even while inside, but lost that line of thought when he murmured, "I'm still…I'm still not sure where I should begin…"

Specific then…

She'd need to be specific in what she asked…

Trisha took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "How…how old were you when you lost him? When did this happen?"

An easy enough question…

Ed whispered something she couldn't hear and she had to ask him to repeat himself.

"Ten…I …I was ten…"

Ten…

He was ten years old.

That was only three years away.

The knowledge made her want to rush outside and hold her little Alphonse in her arms. Hold him…protect him. Edward had always been one to get his younger brother in trouble… it had been a worry of hers that her oldest boy would someday get Alphonse into serious trouble, but she had hoped it wouldn't be so…

And now she knew.

Trisha didn't know what to say…

Here was Edward, her oldest son, sitting just fine in front of her when her youngest was who knew where…only…hadn't he said he'd just seen his brother? How could both be true? Had he been lying to her before? She knew her little Edward wasn't above lying to get out of an unpleasant situation… perhaps that was something he'd never grew out of.

"Edward, how could you lose your _brother_? He's not a _toy_, he's a _person_! You don't just go around _losing_ people!" Trisha yelled hysterically. She knew she was being irrational, but she couldn't stop the words. "You just told me last night that you'd just _seen_ him! I don't know what to believe! Where you lying to me? Are you lying to me now? I just don't know, and you're barely telling me anything! I don't know the right questions to ask, but _still_ I have to drag _everything_ from you!"

Suddenly, Ed stood and slammed his hands down on the table. "I'M SORRY! Okay? I'm _sorry_! I'm _not_ _lying_! I'm not! I wouldn't lie to you! I'm not a _child_ anymore! I stopped being a child _years_ ago! I…I…" With a cry of frustration and anguish, Ed pushed the chair aside, causing it to topple backwards, and ran out of the room. Trisha could hear his footfalls as he ran through the house. The front door opened, then slammed shut so hard that the pictures on the wall shook slightly.

Her bottom lip trembled as she tried to hold in the pain, but it was just too much. Sobs broke from her and she buried her face in her hands. She didn't want it to turn out like that… she was usually so calm and collected, but all of this was tearing her apart inside.

When the sound of the chair being put upright met her ears, Trisha looked up to see the colonel looking down at her compassionately. "You should go find him. He needs you."

He was right.

She didn't want _him_ to be right about anything, but he was.

"I'll go find the boys and keep them preoccupied…" the major said, looking down at her worriedly. "They don't need to know what's going on…" She nodded and he hurried out.

With tears still running down her face, Trisha stood and quickly passed the older dark haired man. He wanted to help…she knew that…but…

But….

It didn't take her long to walk around the fenced part of their property, and in that time she had been able to get a fragile control over herself. For now, she kept the tears at bay… Unfortunately, there was no sign of her teenage son.

In frustration and regret, Trisha ran a hand through her hair and wondered where he could have run off to. He shouldn't be out there. What if someone recognized him…? She shook her head. No one would realize that it was Edward… it was a stupid thing to worry about, but…

"I think I know where he could have gone."

The brunette turned around quickly and stared at the colonel. For a moment she considered not accepting his help, but that was foolish… she needed to find her son…

"Where?" she asked with a trembling voice.

* * *

When she saw him sitting under the tree, Trisha couldn't help but feel surprised. The man had been right. How he'd known was beyond her, but he had been right. She stood staring at the blond for a long time. His back was mostly to her, so he hadn't seen her yet and for that she was grateful. It gave her a chance to study him, to gather her thoughts together.

He had come here, to the cemetery, for some reason she was unaware of, yet Colonel Mustang knew. He'd known Ed would be here…or at least had a good reason to believe Ed would be here.

But why…

It came back to that.

_Why_ would Ed come here?

Why…

How...

So many questions.

Trisha walked toward him and by the tightening of his shoulders she knew that he knew she was there.

"Edward…" she began gently, "I'm sorry…"

She'd meant to say more, but he cut in sharply, "No! No… Don't say you're sorry! You have no reason to be, and you have every right to say what you did." His voice softened as he continued. "I guess I just… it seems I'm always angry. I guess I get that way because it covers up anything that I might be feeling that I don't want people to see…" He gave a short mirthless laugh. "Like…when people make fun of my height… I get mad, but it's just to cover up that it hurts…kinda stupid I guess…"

He looked so vulnerable sitting there below the tree, with his legs hugged to his chest and his chin resting on his knees as he stared out over the cemetery. She knew that position so well. Her little Edward often sat like that when he was upset or feeling down.

"It isn't stupid…" she replied softly. "I think we all do things like that."

He shook his head. "Not you… You were always so kind and gentle, even when you were mad at me… but you were always sad too…and now I'm just causing you more pain." A slight breeze stirred the cool morning air causing his blond bangs to brush past his face.

"Don't be silly, Edward…wasn't I just upset, and didn't I get mad last night?"

The teenager shook his head. "You wouldn't have been if I wasn't here. We shouldn't be here, me and Roy…"

"Maybe that's true, but you are here," she replied softly.

He nodded, silently accepting the fact.

For a few minutes neither spoke. Trisha walked the few steps that put her next to him, sat down, and gazed at him sadly. His face held a pensive look and radiated an aching pain that she couldn't even begin to understand. Finally after the long silence, Ed spoke.

"I was arrogant. I thought… I thought I could do what no one else could do. My pride kept me from believing it couldn't…shouldn't…be done. I thought they only said it was forbidden because they couldn't do it. Men older and wiser than I was…" Ed sighed and shook his head. "I was stupid. Al…he didn't want to do it. He was wiser than me…" A small mirthless laugh burst from him. "He still is…"

Trisha waited patently. He was talking without being prodded, and she didn't want him to stop. She needed him to continue.

"I was so _stupid_…so foolish, but I couldn't let it be. I couldn't let go of the fact that what I wanted was wrong." His voice lowered into a tortured whisper. "I was so desperate…" He blinked and a tear escaped his eye, dropping onto his knee. "My theorems and equations…they all seemed so right…they _were_ right, but…"

His voice began to quiver, but he continued on. "It was us…_we_ were the problem. What we were doing was the problem… it wasn't even near equivalent… but, there was nothing we could have possibly offered that would have been enough….what happened…it wasn't fair…none of it, but it was equivalent, in a sick, morbid way, or at least almost equivalent."

Ed shook his head and snorted in disgust. "_Equivalent_ would have been a body for a body, that much was right... A leg for knowledge isn't exactly equivalent if you ask me. They tried to take too much… I shouldn't have had to pay to get his soul back… there was no reason for them to have taken it…"

Trisha wasn't exactly sure what her son was talking about, and since she was pretty sure that he was just rambling now, she said, "Edward…I don't understand…"

He looked at her with liquid eyes, sighed, then stood up and walked a few steps before stopping.

"You're ill…aren't you?"

Her eyes widened and she gasped. How did he know? She hadn't told anyone…

The blond turned and looked down at her with such agony that Trisha thought she'd start crying again. "_Why_? Why didn't you tell anyone?" His voice caught and he had to swallow hard before continuing. "We _needed_ you! Maybe someone could have helped you!" The passion in his voice was only amplified by the pleading in his body language. His hands were spread out as if begging her for something.

Maybe he was…

"Edward…how did you…" she began but never got a chance to finish.

"You _died_ mom! You fucking _died_ on us!" he sobbed, then fell to his knees in unadulterated anguish.

Her body felt cold as her brain numbly processed what he was saying.

Died?

She'd _died_?

"That was when I lost Al…" he moaned. "We created our own array for human transmutation, and…"

He never got a chance to finish because Trisha was jolted out of her stupor by the words 'human transmutation', and yelled, "What? You didn't! Even _I_ know that's forbidden, Ed!"

"I know!" Ed responded loudly.

"Then why…" she began but was cut off.

"BECAUSE _I _WANTED YOU _BACK_!" Ed screamed passionately, then buried his head into the grass and sobbed. His fingers grabbed at the green blades and pulled them roughly from the ground.

Tears flowed from her own eyes, making her vision blurry, but she crawled over to him on her hands and knees, and wrapped her arms tightly around her son.

Human transmutation…

What had she done wrong that her little boys would try such a dangerous thing? His body trembled under her touch and she tried to comfort him by rubbing his back and holding him close.

"I'm sorry…" he moaned. "I'm _so_ sorry…I was wrong…I was wrong…and I…Al…I…it was my fault…"

"That's how you lost Alphonse?" she asked in dismay.

He nodded and slipped his gloved hands over his head as if to cover himself.

"But, how…" she began, then stopped as her eyes rested on Ed's right wrist. When he'd put his hands up to cover his head, the sleeves of his coat and jacket had shifted; had moved down with the gravity, and to her horror, she wasn't looking at a wrist of flesh and blood...

She was looking at automail.

Tears sprang unbidden to her eyes and the dull gray metal became blurry in her vision.

Automail.

Automail on her baby?

How could this happen?

Trisha tried to blink away the tears, but she couldn't. It was all so overwhelming… A tormented sob broke through and her body shuddered with the force of it. Again and again, sobs wracked at her. So caught up in her grief was she that Trisha didn't notice Ed lift his head and stare at her. She didn't notice when he touched her shoulder or when he fearfully said her name. A small shake from the teen brought her back to the situation and she lifted her head and looked into Ed's frightened eyes.

"Mom…" he whimpered apprehensively, "mom…what's wrong…please…"

With what little strength she had, Trisha grabbed onto Ed's red coat and pulled him forward. "What _happened _to you, Edward!" she cried in despair.

"What do you mean?" he asked in confusion.

The woman yanked on his coat and cried, "Your _arm,_ Edward! Why? Why is it _automail_?" Another sob tore through her and Trisha rested her head against Ed's chest before moaning, "Why...why…why…"

Small, but strong, arms wrapped around her shoulders and held onto her tightly. "I didn't want you to know…" he said in a shaky, tormented whisper. "I'm sorry… I didn't… I'm so sorry…" Trisha clung even more tightly to him and felt him softly stroke her hair. "This is all my fault… I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he whispered over and over, "Please don't cry. It…it's okay…it will be alright…" but on the last word his voice broke and she could feel his small body shake with silent sobs.

This made her cry even harder, because she knew that he was trying to comfort her, when it should be the other way around. _He_ was trying to be strong for _her_… he was trying to hold back his tears… hold back the pain.

Trisha didn't know how long the two of them held each other, but finally she became too exhausted to continue crying. It seemed as if that's all she'd been doing since last night. Her head hurt, her eyes hurt, her nose hurt… even her throat hurt… She lifted her head and gazed wearily at her son. His nose and cheeks were splotchy and his eyes were a pinkish color from his own tears.

"I'm sorry, Edward…"

His eyebrows knit together in confusion. "For what?"

"For not being stronger…I…I should have been the one comforting you…" she looked down in shame. What kind of a mother was she?

Rough fabric touched her chin as Ed tipped her face up to look at her. "You have _nothing_ to be sorry for," he breathed. When he blinked, a tear broke free from his eye and he sniffled loudly. He tapped his chest, and opened his mouth to speak. At first nothing came out, but then he croaked, "Me. It's _my_ fault..._my_ sin…"

Another sniffle and another tear.

The teenager looked down for a moment, then shrugged off his long red coat. Slowly, he pulled off his gloves, and looked at his hands for a moment, then unfastened the buckle on his jacket and pulled it off, leaving only a black tanktop. She looked away and tried to blink away the sudden tears. Not just his hand, but his whole arm… She just didn't know if she could handle this…it was just too much…

"Mom," Ed whispered quietly. "Look at me." Trisha gritted her teeth together, squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. She couldn't. She couldn't look at him... not like that. There was a moment of silence before she was roughly grabbed and turned. "Look at me dammit!" Ed cried in hurt frustration. Slowly, she opened her eyes and when her gaze met the automail she had to fight the urge to shut them.

Ed touched his flesh hand to his automail arm and whispered, "This is the price that I have to pay for what I did." He tapped the metal softly. "This…" Then he brought his hand down and touched his left leg. "And this…" It took her a moment to understand, but when she did a gasp tore from her and her hands flew to her mouth.

"No…" she whispered in horror.

Ed tapped his leg as he tried to get his emotions under control enough to speak, then he whispered savagely, "This…this is _nothing_ compared to what Al has lost…" Trisha stared at him in dumfounded silence. She couldn't even imagine how much more Alphonse could have lost. The teenager looked down, shook his head slowly and gritted his teeth. When he finally looked up at her, Trisha could see the tragic truth written in his eyes.

"Al…" Ed began brokenly, but stopped for a moment to compose himself enough to speak. "Al lost his whole body. It was all I could do to keep his soul here. I…" he looked away, unable to face her as he said, "I attached his soul to that armor in the corner… the one in that room adjacent to the study…"

Trisha stared at him, not comprehending, not taking it in. The words seemed to hide in the dark recesses of her mind. Like a coin in murky water…you knew it was there, but just couldn't see it…

"The…armor…"

"It was the only thing I could think of…and…I didn't have very much time…" he murmured regretfully. To this, Trisha said nothing. What _could_ she say? Surely not, 'Edward, put your brother's soul back where you found it'. The thought was a ludicrous one, and she realized that her brain was just not processing this information like it should. Even though she knew it was true, a part of her just refused to believe it.

"That's why I became a State Alchemist," Ed stated flatly, then his tone changed to one of purpose. "Al doesn't deserve that. This wasn't his fault, it was _mine_, and I would do _anything_ to make it right again." The teenager's face held a look of stubborn determination.

After a moment his face softened, and he said, "So…you see, there's nothing for you to be sorry for. You haven't done anything…"

Trisha nodded brokenly, her eyes going back to the automail. Hesitantly, she lifted her hand and brought it close to his arm, then looked up at him as if for permission. He swallowed and nodded to her before she looked back and let her fingers touch the smooth, cool metal of the artificial limb.

It must have hurt…the surgery. She'd talked to the Rockbells about it before, and they'd said it was probably the most painful surgery there was. Again tears sprang to her eyes but she pushed them away and dropped her hand before looking down in her lap. It was then that something from earlier came back to her and she looked up at her son in new understanding.

"That's why…" she murmured.

"Huh?"

"That's why you're called that…the Fullmetal Alchemist…"

A small half smile formed on his face and he said, "Yeah, the Fuhrer has a lame sense of humor…"

"I suppose…" she said noncommittally.

Ed sighed and slipped his jacket and coat back on before standing and holding his hand down to her. "We'd better get back." She took his offered hand, stood up and brushed the grass and wrinkles out of her dress. When she was finished, Trisha walked beside her son as they walked toward the house.

So many questions had been answered, but she still had more, and one especially that wouldn't leave her alone.


	11. Those Whom We Love

**Future Memories**

**Chapter Eleven**

**Those Whom We Love**

As they walked along the dirt road that would lead them back to the house, Trisha couldn't help but cast glances at her son every so often. Their emotionally charged talk had been draining on them both. She could see it in his eyes and in his body language.

Though most of her questions had been answered, there were still a few that sat quietly waiting to be answered. And they would be, she was sure, in their own time, but…

But…

There was still that one.

The one she'd been wanting to ask, but…

The brunette woman ran her fingers through her hair and took in a deep breath. If she didn't ask him now, would she have the chance again? Would they be alone like this again?

"Edward…" she began but was cut off by a yell.

"Ms. Elric! Ms. Elric!"

They both turned around to see a small blonde girl in a sundress running toward them.

"Winry…" Ed breathed.

Trisha glanced at him, and was reminded in a sudden painful way of the relationship between her son and _that man_. She really liked the Rockbells and had always thought, or at least hoped, that one of her sons would end up being married to their little girl.

But now…

"Ms. Elric…?" the girl asked in concern.

Trisha shook herself from her depressing thoughts and said, "Yes, Winry?"

"Can I come over and play with Ed and Al?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but stopped when the teenager cleared his throat and made a slight shake of his head. Perhaps he was right. It would probably not be a good idea to have many other people know of what was happening…

"I'm sorry, Winry, but I'm going to have them help me with some things. Perhaps later I'll send them over if they get everything done."

The girl's face fell and she nodded her understanding. Winry started to turn around, then stopped when she saw Ed's face. Her eyes widened slightly and she said, "You look just like Ed!"

For a moment he just stared at her, then a big grin spread on his face. "Actually my name is Ling Yao," he said and stuck out his hand in greeting.

Winry looked at him for a moment before taking his hand in hers. Suddenly her eyes widened as she squeezed his hand, and she shrieked in excitement, "Is this automail?"

He nodded and slipped his glove off for her to inspect it.

"Oh wow! This is just so neat! I want to be an automail engineer when I get older just like my grandma!" she squealed. "Someday I hope to make automail just as good as this!"

Ed knelt down and smiled kindly at the small blonde girl. "You will. You will be one of the best. I just know it, so study hard alright?"

Trisha watched as Winry's cheeks turned red and she looked down in embarrassment. "I'll try really hard," she said, grabbing her skirt in her hands and twisting it around her finger. "When I do… will you come back to Rizembool? If you do… I'll do maintenance for you and I'll even give you a discount."

To that Ed burst out laughing. "What? Not for free?"

The girl looked up and said, "Granny says never to give stuff out for free."

The teenager just shook his head, then poked her nose lightly with his automail finger. "Study hard, and I swear I'll come back. Okay?"

The girl nodded emphatically, then declared, "I'm going to go study _right now_!" She started running down the road then stopped and waved, "Bye Ms. Elric! Bye Ling!"

The two of them waved at her for a moment until she was out of sight, then Trisha said with a raised eyebrow, "Ling Yao?"

Ed chuckled and shook his head, "It's a long story…"

"I see…" she said and watched him slip the glove back on. "You seem pretty confident in her abilities…"

He looked at her, nodded, held up his hand, and said quietly, "Who do you think made this?" He touched his leg. "And this…"

As they started back toward the house again she noticed that Ed seemed to be in more of a good mood, and she was glad. It hurt her to see him so sad. Trisha thought of her question again, and wondered if it would be best to not ask. Her little Edward always got so upset when she mentioned…

But this wasn't her little Edward. This was Ed, her son, but not her son… not the one she knew. He had matured so much… perhaps he could handle it better now…

"Edward…" she began, then stopped. She couldn't…what if…

He looked at her and said, "Yes?"

Trisha looked away. How could she ask him? How would he react?

"Mom?" he asked in concern.

"Ed, I have a question that… I've wanted to ask, but…" her voice trailed off.

The blond teen smiled slightly and said in a weak voice, "I've told you the worst things I could… you can ask…"

The brunette turned her gaze forward and nodded, though it was a few minutes before she asked softly, "Did he ever come back?"

When there was no answer she looked beside her only to see that she was alone. Stopping, Trisha turned around and saw him standing in the middle of the road, gazing at her with sad eyes.

That was her answer.

He didn't need to speak.

Trisha blinked in surprise at the sudden tears in her eyes. She'd supposed that all her tears had been shed…

Ed looked down and sighed before walking forward.

"Mom," he said in quiet anger, "why do you _wait_ for him? Why do you _love_ him? He's a _bastard_. He… he doesn't care about us… if he did, then why would he go away? Why wouldn't he write, or…or…_anything_?" He raised his head, and she could see the pain and the hurt, the confusion and the anger, radiating from those large, golden eyes. "He didn't come… we tried… but he never came…"

She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him.

"Edward," Trisha said softly, "he _does_ care. I _know_ he does. Why he left… he left so you wouldn't know… he didn't want you and Alphonse to know…he…he said he'd be back…but I never expected him to be gone so long…"

The teen pulled away and asked, "What didn't he want us to know?"

She shook her head. "I could only tell you a little because I don't understand all of what he said. I don't think that small amount would make much sense so I'd rather not, but please know that he does love us very much…"

"I don't see how you can say that…" he mumbled and walked past her.

Trisha watched him slowly walk away from her with mixed emotions. He _did_ love them. She _knew_ he did. Why couldn't Ed see that? Why couldn't he understand just how much she loved Hohenheim?

And then the thought came to her. Hard and crushing was the understanding and she called, "Edward…" He stopped but didn't turn around. "You asked me why I love him. You said he's a bastard and that you can't see how he could possibly return my feelings…"

Ed nodded with a frown.

"What about you? What about _that man_? Why do you love _him_? _I_ think _he's_ a bastard! I can't see how he could possibly return your feelings… So why…?" she asked, her voice trailing off.

He nodded unhappily and walked back toward her. For several minutes they stood staring at each other, then finally Ed spoke.

"I didn't mean to love him. I never meant for it to happen. When things started happening… well…it…it wasn't love. It was just a game. We were…antagonizing…each other…I don't know…" he ran a hand through his bangs and shook his head. "The funny thing is that he really _is _a bastard sometimes, but I guess when you like someone enough you're willing to forgive even that."

He folded his arms and continued, "Al doesn't know…no one knows…we can't let anyone find out. It's against the rules. We each have our own goals and we need the military to fulfill them, or at least I do…I have to…for Al. I…I want him to love me, but…" he trailed off and looked away.

"You don't know that he does," she said mildly. Ed glanced at her with a questioning look and nodded. "I saw it in his eyes last night, when you said what you did. He was surprised…" she admitted.

"Yeah…we'd never spoke of love and that stuff…I…I'd thought about telling him several times but, I wasn't ever able to find the courage. Now though… now he knows, but we haven't talked about it. He's probably waiting… maybe until we get back or something… I don't know…" His voice trailed off as his eyes pleaded for her to understand what he felt.

She watched him for a moment then said, "I suppose it's hard for us to see those whom we love in each other's eyes…"

He looked at her for a moment with all the maturity that he'd gained during those years that she didn't know, that she'd never know…and said softly, "Yeah…I suppose so…"

Trisha reached out and held her son tightly for a moment before saying, "I'll think about what you said if you'll think about what I said."

She felt him nod against her. "I'll try…" he murmured.

They stood that way for a long time, how long she didn't know, but when they finally pulled apart he looked around as if searching for something. When his gaze settled on a patch of wildflowers at the side of the road, he pulled away from her and walked toward them.

For a minute he stood there silently, back turned toward her, long red coat moving slightly in the breeze, then he walked to the side of the shrubbery and gave her a radiant smile before clapping his hands together and touching the flowers.

She gasped as they transmuted into a ring of flowers. He picked it up, walked to her and laid it gently over her head, letting it rest lightly on her shoulders. Trisha touched the soft flowers and again felt tears come to her eyes, only these were ones of happiness.

"Edward…you…how…" she stopped to gather her thoughts together, then said, "Your father… he…always used to make these for me…"

"I know…" he breathed, "you told me once…you asked me to make you one…but…" his voice trailed off as a hint of sadness crept into his eyes.

"Thank you, Edward…" she said softly and kissed him on the forehead. "You even did this without a transmutation circle…" _Just like your father_ "…I'm so proud of you. You've become so good with your alchemy…" _You even looked like him when you did it_ "…I'd love to see more later."

He nodded happily and they started back down the road.

She wished they could stay in this moment forever. Just being happy, just being family. But she knew they couldn't. Soon Ed and his commanding officer would find a way to go back, and just as fast as it had all happened, everything would end.


	12. Goodbyes

**Future Memories**

**Chapter Twelve**

**Goodbyes**

When they stepped into the house, Ed's eyebrows knit together in confusion. He had expected chaos or at least loud noises, but there was none of that. Instead the house was eerily quiet.

"Hello?" Trisha called.

No answer.

"Yo! Colonel Bas…" he stopped what he was about to say, glanced at his mom, and instead yelled, "Colonel! Major! Al! Shorty!"

When his mother gave him 'the look' and shook her head, he chuckled. He was beginning to see why everyone seemed to enjoy taunting him about his height so much. His younger double was a riot to tease.

"I wonder where they could be…" Trisha murmured.

It was then that Ed realized where they must be, if they were in the house at all. "I bet they're in the back room," he said and began walking that way. He heard his mother following close behind him.

Sighing, Ed smiled softly to himself. Things had worked out okay; not the best, but okay. Telling her everything had been so hard, and he felt completely drained, but he felt pretty good about their talk. Now, what he really wanted was a nice hot shower and a nap, even though it was only almost noon.

When he reached the door to the back room, Ed turned the knob and poked his head inside. There, sitting on the floor, were both the colonel and the major, along with the two kids. They were all looking up at him in surprise, and he laughed as he let himself fully into the room.

"You don't really think you're going to figure this out without _me,_ do you?" he asked arrogantly. The colonel shut the book they'd all been looking at, using his finger for a bookmark and said, "You'd only be a _small_ addition to this group, Fullmetal."

"Why you…!" Ed growled, then stopped when the major picked up a glass with ice in it and rattled it.

"Hm…looks like I'm out again…" he held out the glass and said, "Refill."

"No way!" Edward shouted. "Get your own water!"

The major raised an eyebrow and said, looking up at Trisha, "You know, Mrs. Elric, Edward here was saying the most interesting thing this morning…"

Suddenly the small boy stood up, grabbed the glass and began stalking out of the room. "Why don't you get the colonel's glass too?" the younger Mustang asked in amusement. Growling, Edward turned around and snatched the other glass before stomping out of the room.

"Al," the older Mustang said, "You'd probably go watch him to make sure he doesn't break anything. You know how he can be sometimes."

After the small sandy haired boy nodded and ran out of the room, Ed growled, "What did you mean by _that_?"

Instead of answering his question, the colonel said, "We've gotten pretty far on this, I think you'd be interested to see what we've found."

Ed nodded, then turned to his mother. Before he could speak, she reached over and kissed him on the cheek, then said, "I'm going to get lunch ready." She paused before whispering, "Thank you…"

He nodded and watched until the door was closed behind her, then sat on the floor with the other two men. "So what have you found?"

The colonel opened the book, handed it to Ed for him to look at, then grinned slightly. "I think I like your father's thinking," he said in amusement.

Ed glared at him momentarily before he scanned the handwritten notes in the book. As he read, the teen had the urge to roll his eyes and finally he exclaimed, "I don't _believe_ this!"

When the two men started laughing, Ed narrowed his eyes and said, "I don't see how this is funny. I mean…" He let out a sound of exasperation. It seemed that his father was looking for a way to duplicate himself so that he could get out of doing the household duties Trisha gave him.

"You _would_ like this!" he growled irritably, then flipped the page and frowned when he saw that some of the pages were torn out. "Missing…" he whispered and let his finger touch ripped page stubs.

"Yeah…" the major said. "We're guessing that the information about all this was on those papers…because if you actually read through everything, you'll see that this array." He gestured at the floor. "Isn't written anywhere else in the book."

"What?" Ed asked in confusion. He hadn't really had time to go through the book because of everything that had been happening with his mother.

"That's right," the younger Mustang said, then pointed to the page below the ripped out ones. "And look at this."

At first, Ed wasn't sure what he was supposed to be looking at, then he saw it. A ghost of the array in question was pressed into the page from when Hohenheim had drawn it on one of the missing pages. His younger self must have noticed the impression and drawn it out to see what it looked like. The teen held the book to his nose. Besides the array, there were words, but they were hard to make out.

"Hmm…" he murmured and sounded out the letters as he figured them out. "London… other side…" Ed shook his head. "None of that makes sense..." he looked up. "He took all the information about this array…"

The other two men nodded, and the colonel said, "That leaves us to figure out how to modify this array to send us back."

Sighing Ed looked down at the book and opened his mouth to speak when the door slammed open and Edward stalked in with two glasses. When the boy thrust the first glass out to the major, water sloshed onto his hand and dripped on the younger Mustang's uniform.

The major smiled and said, "That isn't how it's done. Remember what I said about manners?"

The blond boy rolled his eyes and sarcastically drawled, "Soooory."

The twenty-one year-old's smile widened and he took the glass from the child before saying to the older Ed, "I'm thinking that if I start early he won't end up as rude, and foul tempered as you are."

The teenager growled at the major, then turned to glare at the colonel who was chuckling and nodding in approval.

"You bas…."

"Mom says lunch is ready and everyone should wash their hands," Alphonse announced, sticking his head into the room.

"Alright!" Edward exclaimed excitedly and ran out of the room.

"Well, lunch sounds pretty good to me too right now," the major said, standing up and heading toward the door.

Ed watched him go with a heavy feeling of hesitation. He needed to talk to the colonel about last night…

The younger Flame Alchemist looked back at them and frowned slightly, but didn't say anything as he slipped out of the room.

The blond swallowed hard, trying to find the courage to say what was on his mind.

"Roy…" he began quietly, "about what I said last ni…"

"I think we should get ready for lunch," the colonel said, standing up and avoiding Ed's eyes. The teen watched the older man walk to the door and stop. "You don't want to keep her waiting do you?" the dark haired man asked, the discomfort evident in his voice.

Ed sighed and stood. Why was he avoiding this conversation? Maybe his mother was right… Maybe Mustang really _didn't_ return his feelings…

"No…" he answered heavily, and followed the colonel out the door.

* * *

"Oh! Mom the rope on the swing came off the tree branch again…" Edward whined.

Trisha sighed, feeling a bit irritated. For some reason she couldn't get that swing to stay on… Hohenheim had put it up originally, but one day there had been a fierce storm that broke some of the branches off the tree including the one with the swing. When she'd tried to put it on a different branch it just wouldn't stay…

"Alright, I'll look at it again after lunch is cleaned up," she murmured.

Suddenly the major scooted his chair back with a grin and said, "Don't worry about it. I can get it to stay."

She gave him an appreciative look, then frowned when the small seven year-old pouted, "Not _yoooou_!"

"Edward," the brunette woman said in warning.

The boy scrunched up his face, then stood up. "Fine! But I'd better watch to make sure you do it right!" Edward said. The younger dark haired man only shook his head and chuckled. "You wanna come too, Al?" Edward asked, changing his voice to a kinder note.

The sandy haired boy gazed at him for a moment before shaking his head 'no'. That gave the older boy pause for a moment. Al almost always followed him around. "Well…okay then…" he said, a bit unsure.

"Come on, let's go," the major said and left with Edward trailing behind him.

Alphonse watched them go, then turned around and said, "I'm done. May I please get down from the table?"

Trisha smiled. Her youngest had caught onto manners like a fish to water, and he just sounded so _cute_ every time. "Yes, you may," she answered and watched him take his plate and Edward's to the sink before heading down the hall that led to the back room.

She glanced at her teenage son and her soft smile slipped. He'd been so quiet throughout the meal, and was now staring despondently down at his plate... The older military man had also been quiet…

"Ed…" Trisha said kindly. "Why don't you take a break? You said something earlier about taking a nap and having a shower… Maybe you should do that before you work on that alchemy stuff anymore…"

The teenager looked up at her for a moment before giving her a half smile and nodding slightly. This Edward picked up his own plate and set it in the sink before leaving the room. It was nice to see he'd learned _some_ manners…

Her eyes rested on the colonel as he took a last drink from his cup and said, starting to stand up, "Well, someone had better get to work on that array…"

"Colonel Mustang, I'd like to speak with you," Trisha said, keeping her voice level with an effort. Just thinking about this man caused her emotions to flare, both in anger and hurt.

The twenty-nine year-old looked at her for a moment before sinking back into his chair and returning the dishes to the table. "Alright…" he said slowly.

For almost two minutes, Trisha said nothing. It was hard for her to gather her thoughts. She'd told Ed that she would try to consider his point of view, but it was hard for her to even think about accepting a relationship where she saw him being hurt.

"Tell me about your relationship with my son," she finally said in a shaky voice.

Now it was his turn to quietly study her as he thought. She was beginning to wonder if her question had been too broad when he said, "It's pretty simple actually. I am his commanding officer, he is my subordinate, but we're also more. Perhaps you could call us friends; most certainly you could call us lovers, although that has been a more recent development."

"How did it come to that?" she asked carefully.

He looked up for a moment in thought, then brought his gaze down to her with a sigh. "It's a long story, that I really have no desire to get into, but I'll tell you that I never would have imagined that this would be how it would all end up. I won't pretend that it isn't a bit strange for me to think about having a relationship like this with someone fourteen years my junior, but please understand that even though he _looks_ young, Ed is really very mature for his age, and he is handling this situation just fine."

Trisha clenched her teeth together for a moment, trying to hold back the anger she was feeling, and when she didn't say anything he continued, "He as been through a lot for someone his age. I'm sure he's told you some of it, but there couldn't have been time for him to give you every detail of his life, he…"

She cut him off, "He told me _plenty_. I know about," her voice began to tremble "…about… Alphonse…and I know about me, and I know about his arm and leg…"

He nodded with a sympathetic look on his face, and said, "Then you know quite a bit…"

"_But_," she continued, cutting him off again, "he_ is_ still a _child_. He's only fifteen."

The colonel nodded. "Yes, it's true. He is fifteen, but he is no longer considered a child. He gave up all rights to childhood when he entered the military."

"So that gives you the right to have _sex_ with him?" she asked, unable to keep the anger out of her voice.

He sighed in exasperation. "I told you it isn't like that. He…"

"Do you love him?" she asked bluntly. When the dark haired man only stared at her, she said, "I don't want you playing with his emotions. If you don't love him, then you need to end this. As much as he has matured, he is still very vulnerable and naïve."

He let out his breath and ran his fingers through his fine, black hair. "Mrs. Elr…"

"But," she said, again stopping his words, "if you _do_ love him, you need to tell him. I want to see him happy, and if being with you makes him happy, then I'll try to live with that, but not if you continue to mess with his emotions. Right now he isn't happy. He's trying so hard to act 'grown up', to pretend he's just fine, but we both know he's not."

The older man nodded thoughtfully, but said nothing. She waited, hoping that he'd have something to add, or perhaps to tell her his feelings toward her son, but when he remained quiet she finally said, "That's it. That's all I wanted to say."

The colonel nodded again, and put his dish in the sink. For a moment he looked down the hall to where the back room was, then silently walked the opposite direction toward the front door.

* * *

After the shower and a short nap, Ed definitely felt much better. He hadn't slept well the night before and he hadn't realized how all the stress from the past couple of days was affecting him. Turning the doorknob to the back room, the blond teen expected to see both of the Mustangs and probably Edward and Alphonse working on the array, but what he saw instead surprised him.

The room was empty except for Alphonse. The sandy haired boy was kneeling on the floor, chalk in hand and a couple of books open on the floor near him. His little brother looked up and smiled when he saw who it was.

"Look, brother!" Alphonse exclaimed and pointed at the circle.

Ed walked into the room and gazed down at the modified array in wonder. "I don't believe it…" he murmured to himself. He quickly took in everything, then looked down to see a paper on one of the books. Picking it up, Ed studied the crudely written equations, then stared at the boy in amazement.

"I think you did it, Al!"

The child's grin widened, then he yawned and rubbed his eyes. Shaking his head, Ed set the paper down and, while still bent over, held his arms out to Alphonse. The little boy set the chalk down and put his arms around the teen's neck, letting himself be picked up.

Ed could remember well enough how Al used to take naps around this time without even being put down for one. "You'll never cease to amaze me, Al…" he said quietly into his brother's ear.

Still carrying the boy, Ed left the room to find the colonel and the major.

* * *

"Do you really need to go today?" Trisha asked in disappointment.

Both her son and the colonel nodded, though Ed was more hesitant about it.

"We shouldn't be here at all," the older man said.

"I need to get going too…" the major put in.

"No one cares about _you_," Edward remarked snidely in an effort to cover up the fact that he really did care.

The major reached down and ruffled his hair. "Don't worry, we'll see each other again, you brat."

The boy folded his arms and looked away with a grumpy frown.

Sighing, Trisha stepped forward and put her arms around Ed, giving him a tight hug. "I'll miss you…" she said, trying to keep the tears back; she'd cried enough for one day.

He returned the hug and murmured, "Me too… you have no idea how much…" They stood that way for a long time before Ed pulled back a little and whispered, "Mom…can you…can you ever forgive me?" His voice broke and he looked down, in an effort to get control over his emotions.

"For what, Ed?" she asked in confusion. There seemed to be nothing that she knew of that needed her forgiveness.

He looked up with liquid gold eyes and said in an agonized whisper, "For… _everything_. For joining the military, for what I did to Al, and …you…trying to…"

Trisha put a finger over his lip and made a hushing sound. "Edward…you are my _son_, and I _love you_ no matter what. Of course, I forgive you."

He blinked and a tear rolled gently down his cheek. "You do…?"

She nodded, getting tears in her own eyes.

A smile broke out on his face and he hugged her close. "Thank you!" he whispered. "Thank you! I was so afraid that you'd hate me after all that I told you…"

The brunette shook her head. "No…I could never hate you, Edward. Never." She stepped back a little and said, "I will _always_ be with you," she touched his chest. "Here. I'll always be here in your heart, and you'll always be in mine."

He nodded and wiped the tear away.

"Be sure to tell Alphonse that I love him as well," she said, and he nodded again.

"I will. I promise."

When they pulled apart, she watched as the two boys each gave him a hug, then turned her gaze to the colonel who was watching the scene with a neutral look on his face.

"Remember what I said, colonel."

He sighed heavily, then nodded before stepping onto the array. When Ed joined him, Trisha stepped back, pulling Alphonse with her. The major and Edward knelt down by the circle and the major said, "On the count of three."

Edward nodded and said, "One."

Trisha moved her gaze up to meet the one from her teenage son; the teenager she'd never get to see her little Edward become.

"Two," Major Mustang said.

Tears came to her eyes and she blinked rapidly, not wanting to miss seeing him during these last seconds.

"Three," they both said together and she heard their hands hit the floor.

Suddenly a glow surrounded her son and the colonel, and in that moment she saw Ed smile at her, then the light filled her vision and she couldn't see them any longer.

* * *

"Mom…" a small voice from far away sounded.

Trisha opened her eyes to see blue sky and the drawn on face of Alphonse.

"Mom," he said again and shook her slightly.

She sat up and looked around. She was lying on the grass by the basket of laundry and… and… and what?

"Are you okay mom?" her youngest asked, a little worried.

The brunette looked at him and smiled reassuringly. "I'm fine, Alphonse. It's just such a nice day that I thought I'd take a little nap, just like you."

This answer seemed to satisfy him and he asked, "Where's brother?"

She thought for a moment, her mind still working to wake up. The markings on his face reminded her and she said, "He's in the backroom. Why don't you tell him he can come out now, okay?"

The sandy haired boy scampered off and Trisha lay back down and looked at the sky. The dream she'd been having was already fading. She remembered… her son, Edward, being older and a couple of State Alchemists…and…

The brunette shook her head and stood up wearily. For a moment the world seemed to swim in her vision, then everything was fine again. Perhaps she should see a doctor… after a moment of thought, she once again decided against it. She was just tired that was all…

Edward and Alphonse ran out of the house and yelled, "We're going to Winry's!"

Trisha waved and suddenly she felt very melancholy. Perhaps it was from the dream, she couldn't be sure…

Trisha shook her head. No, it was just a dream. She'd had stranger dreams before… The brunette began taking the laundry down off the line. For example, there had been that one dream where Alphonse was talking to her from inside the armor they kept in the corner, but when she opened it, there were only kitties inside.

Now _that_ had been a strange dream…


	13. Whisper of a Dream

**Future Memories**

**Epilogue **

**Whisper of a Dream**

Roy opened his eyes and lifted his head off the pillow before letting it drop again when he saw that he was alone in the bed.

So…Ed had already left…

He sighed and rolled onto his back.

What a dream…

Roy had never met Ed's mother, or seen Alphonse as a child, but…

He shook his head. The dream had seemed so vivid…

'_Remember what I said, colonel.'_

The dark haired man laid an arm over his eyes. Though much of the dream was already fading, that part was still fresh and clear… If he loved Ed, tell him; if he didn't, end it…

In an effort to escape his thoughts, Roy got out of bed and headed toward the kitchen for some water, then stopped when he saw Ed standing by the window, looking out over the city.

He was still here…

"Ed…?" the colonel asked softly, and the short blond turned around and gazed at him with shining eyes. When Roy stepped closer, he saw streaks down the teen's cheeks from tears. It wasn't like the boy to show such personal emotions. Even though they were intimate with each other, it was only physically. They weren't intimate emotionally; they didn't share things...

"What is it?" he asked in concern.

Ed cleared his throat and said hoarsely, "I had this dream... I must have fallen asleep after… um…" he blushed and went on. "I dreamt of my mother, but…but it was a _good_ dream. I dreamt that I told her everything about me and Al, and well…just _everything_, and…and…." He swallowed and looked out the window toward the full moon. "And she forgave me…" he finally whispered. "She said that she loved me and that she forgave me…"

The blond turned back with a look of relief painted on his face. "Even though it was just a dream, I…it makes me feel so happy…"

Roy nodded slowly, thinking of his own dream. He'd never believed in such things as 'the beyond' and stuff of that nature, but this was definitely a strange, and interesting coincidence…

'_Remember what I said, colonel.' _

The thought drifted back in his mind and he sighed. He really didn't mean to play with Ed's feelings… This dream woman was right though. He needed to stop playing with the boy's heart. Roy ran his fingers through his hair in nervous apprehension. This was not something he was looking forward to…

"Ed…" The teen looked up at him, and the moonlight reflected in his large, golden eyes. "We need to talk…" At those words the blond tensed, and his lips pulled into a frown, but he didn't say anything, only nodded. "Maybe we should sit down..." Roy suggested, but Ed just shook his head and waited.

"Okay…" He took a deep breath and said, "Ed, you know that none of this," he gestured with his hand, "was meant to happen. _I_ never meant for it to happen. _You_ never meant for it… I think we need to stop…" Roy let his voice trail off and he passed a hand over his eyes and muttered, "This is so hard…"

"It's okay…" Ed whispered dejectedly, "I think I know what you're going to say…"

"Ed..."

"…and I completely understand why…"

"Ed, just listen for a mo…"

"…this isn't going to work…"

"Ed!" Roy shouted, and finally the teen stopped his rambling and looked up, liquid eyes radiating the hurt he was feeling. "Just…_stop_ for a moment." He sighed, then walked forward and knelt in front of the short teen before taking Ed's hands in his.

"What I wanted to say was…" He hesitated feeling afraid and nervous. He'd never said something like this to anyone, and he'd never imagined saying it to a fifteen year old boy.

"What I wanted to say," he repeated. "Was…that…I…yes, I want this to end. I want this _senseless _meeting up to end. I…want something different…something _more_ that this," he shook his head, unable to go on.

"More?" Ed asked in confusion.

"Yes, more Ed…" he sighed, and looked up into the teen's face. "Somehow you've done what no one else has been able to do… you penetrated all my invisible walls and barriers, gotten past my emotional fortress, and found a place in my heart."

"In your…heart?" the teen asked in amazement.

Roy nodded slightly, and swallowed hard.

Ed's features softened and he smiled broadly before saying, "I never even dreamed that you… I couldn't even hope…I…"

The colonel let go of the blond's hands and laid his head on Ed's chest. When he felt the teen wrap his arms around his neck, Roy circled his own arms around Ed's body. "Let's stop all of this meaningless playing around, okay, Ed? I want to see what we can do in a relationship that means something."

Roy felt Ed nod his head, then heard him say softly, "I would like that."

_**fin**_

**I'd like to thank **_**Neo Diji **_**for coming up with the challenge. For those of you who haven't read some of the other fictions written for this challenge, you can find a link to her profile in my profile. She has all the other stories listed there. **

**Next, I'd like to thank: **_**Kikiko, **__**cuylerjade**_**, and **_**Larania Drake **_**for letting me ask them questions, and being willing to look over a paragraph or two when I was unsure about something. You guys are great.**

**Finally, I'd like to thank **_**everyone who has been reviewing**_**. Thanks for all the support you've given me. Originally, I had only planned on updating this story once every two weeks or so, but when I saw that so many people were wanting more, I put in the extra effort to update just about every week. If it wasn't for all of you, this story would definitely have taken longer to finish.**

**For those of you who still want more 'Future Memories', the drabbles will be an ongoing project until I run out of ideas (which won't be for a while)**

**Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoyed the story.**

**- ZaKai Stonewall**


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